I’m So Excited! A Prayer for those times you are too excited to sleep

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Does this ever happen to you? A long awaited good thing is about to occur. You want and need sleep. If sleep comes, it might be in short bursts. Each time you look at the clock you wonder why you are awake again. The internet is full of explanations for why and what to do about it. Search out those answers if you are interested.

Here’s my story. The alarm is set for 5:30 am to catch a flight to see my family who I last saw 8 months ago. To say I am excited is an understatement! I have done all the things to go to sleep and I keep waking up. So, while I try to go back to sleep for the twentieth time, here is the prayer I prayed.

God of All Good Things, You created us in your image and so wonderfully. In the middle of the night, I wonder why you didn’t give us an off switch. Just a simple way to slow our swirling thoughts and excitement down for a bit for sleep before a big, big day. I’m not telling the Creator of All how we should have been made. Just wondering how to get a little rest before my alarm goes off in two hours and fifteen minutes. Just wondering and wondering. Thank you for the ability to feel so much excitement that we can’t sleep. Thank you for long awaited reunions and other joyous celebrations that have us awake as we count down the minutes until we can get started on the big event. Thank you for creating us not as robots and instead as beings filled with emotions too big to be contained by sleep. As I close my eyes to try again to sleep, grant me rest, Holy One, and if good rest doesn’t come before my alarm then grant me the energy to enjoy the big day tomorrow. Big yawn. Amen.

Seeing these smiles makes it so worth it.

Book Review-Between Two Kingdoms by Suleika Jaouad

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This week I read two books. One took me the full two weeks of library loan to finish. I won’t be sharing anymore about that book here. And one book I read in two days. I read past my bedtime. It was a book I wanted to finish and also wanted to stop reading to make my time with the book last longer.

When I share that the book I could not put down is a book about a woman in her early twenties who has leukemia, you might wonder why this book captured my attention and interest with such intensity. It is because we do not talk honestly about illness in this country. We don’t talk about how confusing and challenging it is to be ill. We don’t talk about the emotional and physical demands on caregivers. We don’t talk about how illness changes relationships. This book tackles all these topics and so much more.

It has been over a year since I first heard about this book while watching CBS Sunday Morning with my mother-in-law. I meant to write down the title and read it. I didn’t. And reflecting on it, I don’t think the time was right then. In the midst of my raw grief for my mother, this book may have been too much then. The author was back on CBS Sunday Morning again recently. Immediately, I joined a wait list at my local library for this book. And the time was right for me to read it.

I encourage you to read this book. In these pages you will witness the ways cancer affects someone who has it as well as everyone around that person. You will read about life after cancer which isn’t as easy as it might seem. And I hope you will find insight as well as empathy for the many people who live with cancer.

Judge Not (Matthew 7:1)

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In a conversation with a hospice patient, he said to me that he felt like the first verse from the 7th Chapter of Matthew is the most important and most difficult lesson in the Bible. Whether you agree or disagree with his statement, this verse deserves some consideration and attention. “Do not judge, so that you may not be judged” (Matthew 7:1).

As the dialogue continued, we reflected on how many times we had judged others in our short conversation. We had judged others in so many ways for so many reasons as we talked. As we pointed out the times the other had judged, we were both surprised at how often we had judged others. We repeated the verse again together and said, “Do not judge, so that you may not be judged.”

This conversation has stayed with me as a good reminder of how easy it is to judge someone else. I can quickly judge a person or persons without ever knowing the full story. To reduce the number of times I resort to judgement, I have been repeating this verse over and over. I repeat this verse to remind myself to slow down and consider if I am judging someone else.

Compassionate One, you urge us to leave our judgements behind. The hard part is that we know that judging comes natural to us. We must do the hard work of living out this verse. We don’t want to be judged, so why are we judging? Help us, Holy One. Let this verse live in our minds and thoughts. Write this verse on our hearts so we may live it out in our daily actions. Strengthen us so that judgement will not be our first response. Let us respond first with compassion. Amen.

Pray with Confidence

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Recently I was sitting by the bedside of a woman who asked me to pray with her. I prayed. We opened our eyes and she said I have never been good at praying in front of other people. I said would you like to practice with me? I would be glad to hear your prayer. So, she prayed slowly in her own words. When she ended her prayer, she thanked me and I encouraged her to keep praying by herself and with others.

Imagine my joy when her nurse shared with me her story from visiting this woman the very next day. This newly confident pray-er had asked the nurse if the nurse would listen to her prayer. The nurse said she prayed with confidence and a sense of peace.

What opportunities do we have each day to affirm each other? To remind each other to step outside our comfort spots and do what scares us a little. Look for times to receive this gift and to share it.

Holy One, some days it feels like we have to be perfect in order to try. Remind us that you accept us as we are and you see the good in us. Help us to hear kind words from others and believe them. Inspire us to affirm what we see in someone else. You don’t ask for perfection instead you ask for our efforts. Today, Loving God, we give what we have because it is all a gift from you. Hear our prayer. Amen.

A Prayer for a New Month

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I love the feeling of crisp new notebook. Clean pages ready for me to scribble all over. I am trying to look at each new month in much the same way. New opportunities waiting for me. What will this month hold? Good days and hard days. Laughter and tears. Probably some weather that I don’t love. And so many opportunities.

God of Endless Possibilities! We begin a new month today filled with promise. We bring to this new month all that we are-our joys and sorrows, our dreams and failures, our memories of the past and our wishes for the future. All of this is present as this new month begins. Whatever this month holds, we are grateful to know we do not walk this way alone. You are present with us. You guide us if we only pay attention. You support us when we relax enough to be supported. You love when we seem most and least lovable. As this new month begins, we open ourselves to the possibility of goodness in our lives and goodness to share with others. Open us to receive what is to come. Amen.

Praying Through Disappointment

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Ugh! That has been my word of the week. I had great plans which got sidetracked by that which has been sidetracking many of our plans for the past two years. Everyone is fine. We are pivoting and making new plans.

I know I am not alone in this. Every single person I have talked to today had questions about how to know what is the right thing to do, and when is it safe to do this, and how do I know? So many questions with no easy, right answers. The only right answer for me was to create a prayer for times of disappointment. When you need this prayer, I invite you to pray with me.

Why, God? Why? I don’t even have the words to express my disappointment. I am sad and might cry. I am mad and would like to use up some of this angry energy in a productive manner. I don’t want to make a plan b, plan c, and plan d and throw them all out the window when plans must change again. I want to stop being so disappointed with how things are going in my community and my country. Truthfully, God, I wanted to be done with COVID by now and would like to be living in life after COVID. We all know that isn’t our reality, and so I hand over to you one more big bag of disappointment. Add it to the pile! I know you will hand me back some patience, a glimmer of hope, and so much love as you see this pain and hurt too. So with my next deep breath, I will hold tightly to the hope and feel surrounded by your love. I will remain patient for different days ahead and know that this disappointment won’t last forever. Amen.

What a Difference a Year Makes

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Last year I was at my parents’ home with the family celebrating Mom’s birthday. Here are a few pictures from that day.

We celebrated Mom well with her favorite people surrounding her with laughter and fun and quality time. At her request, her birthday cake was ice cream cake. It was a great day.

Fast forward one year to today. Mom isn’t here to celebrate with us. I feel less like celebrating today and instead decided to remember her by doing some of her favorite things. I began by reading in bed and didn’t change out of my pajamas (including the shirt Mom was wearing in these pictures) until after noon. I enjoyed a delicious bacon cheeseburger with lettuce and tomato. I spent a long time browsing through the bookstore and then bought books even though my bookshelves are full of good books to read. I took a walk at the park to get some fresh air (that one was for me more so then something I did with Mom). And we ended the night the same way we ended last year with ice cream cake.

I am back home in comfy pants wearing my “Just One More Chapter” shirt topped by my breast cancer sweatshirt. I am planning to read past my bedtime tonight to continue to honor my Mom. She is missed so much by her immediate family, her extended family, and her many friends.

I share my story as a reminder that many people are grieving this holiday season. So many are observing their first holiday (or 2nd or 10th) without a loved one. The holidays are a time of traditions. What happens when someone is no longer there to help with a tradition? How do we reimagine traditions? How do we give ourselves time and space to grieve the changes necessitated by the death of someone we love? I offer my story of today as one way to honor and remember a loved one who has died. It is one example of how to make a hard day a little easier. As you are navigating your own grief or helping someone who is grieving, be kind to yourself and each other.

Holiday Greetings

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Finding the right words to say is important to me. I spend much energy considering how you will receive the words I offer and how they will impact you. Our words matter. This is true is everyday. This is true at the holidays.

I don’t know everything you are going through. I can’t. Just like you can’t know everything that is running though my head and heart. So how do we share holiday greetings when we don’t know how our greetings will be received? We do the best we can with what we know.

I can’t give you all the answers on how to share greetings with others in the holiday season, and I don’t know how you will be feeling when you read these words. I leave you with this blessing that I hope will be meaningful to you today.

Christmas is here with the mix of emotions it brings. God is with us today whether we are sad, mad, glad, lonely, thankful, or whatever emotion we name to describe us today. And because God is with us your feelings are valid and valued. You can laugh and cry today. You can sing the songs of Christmas off key or turn off the music. You can observe this day in whatever way works for you this year. God is with us. God loves us. Amen.

An Advent Prayer

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I love the season of Advent. I love the preparations and anticipation. I love the slow walk toward what we know is coming. My hope for you this Advent season is that you may take opportunities to pause from the busyness of life to explore Advent.

Patient God, Advent is here. This season of waiting and preparing and expectation. Too often, we zoom ahead to what is next. Stop us right here, Loving God. Give us time to pause and be present. Remind us that this season is time for hope, peace, joy, and love. This world, your world O God, needs all of this today. So help us to look for hope, peace, joy, and love, and share what we see with others. When able, help us to be the hope others need. Send us your peaceful presence that we may be peacemakers. Light us up with joy, so we may spread joy in our communities. And fill us with your unconditional love, so we may let everyone know they are loved as well. Fill us up this Advent, so we may share the goodness of God with everyone this season. In the name of the one whose arrival we await, we pray. Amen.

Psalm 19 Responsive Reading

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This is a responsive reading with parts 1 and 2 that could be read with two people or a congregation and leader. The words of the Psalm are in quotation marks. Psalm 19:1-2,7-10, 14 is used.

1-“The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims his handiwork.”

2-Listen! Do you hear? Listen to nature informing us about the God of all creation. Listen!

1-When should we listen? When should we expect to hear good news?

2-“Day to day pours forth speech, and night to night declares knowledge.”

1-“The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the decrees of the Lord are sure, making wise the simple;”

2-Revive us, God. Breathe new life into our weary bodies.

1-Explain to us again your way. We want to follow you, and we need your help.

2-“the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is clear, enlightening the eyes;”

1-“the fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever, the ordinances of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.”

2-We delight in you, Gracious God, and know you instruct us in the way to life.

1-“More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold, sweeter also than honey, and drippings of the honeycomb.”

2-You paint a beautiful picture of how much we should want to follow you. 

1- “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Amen.

2-“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Amen.