Holidays

Missing Loved Ones at the Holidays

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The Holiday Season is hard. We are faced with so many expectations of what we should do. Pressure comes from all directions about how to have the perfect celebration. Add in grief and things get so much more challenging.

Sadly, this is my third Christmas without my Mom. I am writing this curled up under a blanket made of her shirts, drinking a cup of hot chocolate, and eating a peanut butter blossom cookie.

Our memories of loved ones come back to us in so many ways this time of year. I remember a loved one when I add an ornament to the tree that used to hang on their tree. I keep my grandparents’ Christmas tree that sheds more needles than a real tree because my grandfather’s handwriting is there telling me how to assemble it. And I think of my Mom when I bake peanut blossom cookies.

You see this is my Mom’s recipe. It is called Peanut Blossom Cookies. And it comes with the side note that the peanut butter is optional because Mom hates peanut butter cookies. This is such a perfect memory of my Mom. She was a picky eater. She would change recipes by leaving out what she didn’t like. For example, her version of apple salad or only turkey breast at Thanksgiving are famous and true stories in our family. And I would happily leave out the peanut butter to share a cookie with her. Since I cannot, I will stay under this blanket a little longer and give thanks for my Mom and all my loved ones who I miss especially this time of year.

Loving and Faithful God, At this beautiful and holy time of year, we are filled with a range of emotions. We joyfully prepare to welcome baby Jesus and our hearts ache as we miss people we love. We remember how it has been on Christmases past and know that we cannot recreate those memories. Send the Prince of Peace among us to provide the peace we need today. Send the Holy Spirit to be our comforter and companion. And bless all of us who are missing someone special this Christmas. Amen.

Remembering the saints in prayer

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I have always loved the celebration of All Saints Day in the church. In churches I have served, we would give thanks for those who had died from the congregation in the past year. As I was thinking about this holy day, I am thinking of the people I love who have died this year and in years past. For me, this day is a reminder that we are here today because of the people who paved the way for us. I know that I am person of faith because I saw faith lived out in so many wonderfully ordinary people from my first memories until now.

God of All Ages and Times, Your story is told and lived out by your people and today we give thanks for each of them. From the saints who lived centuries before to the saints who recently died, we are thankful for each one of them and how their lives reflected your love. Sometimes it is easy to overlook the regular people who sang the songs and told the stories, and yet they are saints just as much as the people whose names are famous. Today, we remember and give thanks for the cloud of witnesses who faithfully passed down the old, old story to us. Give us the strength, wisdom, and courage to share the story with the next generations. And as we do remind us that this did not begin and will not end with us. We are connected to all who came before and all who will follow. One day each of us will be remembered in prayer by the ones we are teaching today. For these connections, we give thanks to you, God of our Ancestors and God of Today and Tomorrow. Amen.

My Lenten Practice for 2023

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When I started working with hospice in 2015, I received a name badge. Nothing out of the ordinary as it is one way to identify myself as I go into people’s home and facilities. Earlier this year, my original 7 year old name badge broke. Instead of getting a free new name badge, I placed my old name badge into a plastic holder that was too big and wore it. I did this for weeks until one Friday afternoon I looked down and saw this!

My first question was how long had I been walking around wearing this with no name badge. I retraced my steps to see if it had just happened. And found nothing. So, I did what I should have done weeks earlier and got a new one!

And that seemed like the end of the story. Until I was given an envelope a few days later. Inside was a note saying found near such and such address and…

My original name badge was back. Someone found it on the street. This person then took the time to mail it to my work address. They got a stamp, addressed an envelope, and placed it in a mailbox. They could have ignored it. They could have picked it up and planned to return it. No, this anonymous individual went out of their way to do something kind.

This experience has inspired my Lenten Practice for this year. I want to be more aware of opportunities to be kind and more aware of seeing kindness lived out in others. So, I am keeping myself open for opportunities for kindness. I would like to express thanks when kindness is extended to me and offer kindness when the opportunity arises. And this idea all began when someone took the time to notice a name badge on the street.

Originator of Kindness, You created us to be in relationship with each other and with you. This Lenten Season open us to opportunities to receive and share kindness. Ignite our awareness of the people around us and how we may meet a need in their life. Surprise us with the kindness we can live out. With thanksgiving for the many ways you share your kindness in our lives, help us to notice and do and say thank you. Amen.

2 Years Without My Mom

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Today is a sad day as it has now been two years since my Mom died. As I think about the last two years, sometimes it seems like so long since I last talked to Mom and other times it is like two years flew by. And that is grief.

As I have been thinking of this day, a quote from Frederick Buechner kept returning to my mind.

“When you remember me, it means you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.”

When I think of the marks of my mother that she imprinted on me, the list is long.

She taught me to love music-playing it and hearing it. She said it was important to practice too and she liked practicing as little as I did.

She was always reading multiple books at once. She kept books and her reader in different places so she had something close by to read whenever she had a free moment. She was always happy someone was reading no matter what they were reading! She loved to give book recommendations and loved to give a book to another reader (usually me) as soon as she finished!

My Mom found so much joy in seeing happiness in the people she loved. She loved to hear about my day, my work, and what was going on in my life. She was genuinely happy when her people were happy.

My Mom liked to eat foods that made her happy. No one who met Mom will argue with the fact that Mom was a picky eater! And yet, she was happy to eat her favorite meals and snacks over and over again. Two of the last things Mom ate were a homemade cinnamon roll and a lemon Bundt cake to celebrate my birthday! Potlucks and church suppers were never her favorite because someone might try to sneak some mayonnaise or a scary vegetable into her meal.

I could go on and on sharing ways that my Mom has left her mark on me. In memory of my Mom, could you take a few minutes today to tell someone special in your life that you love them and how they have left their mark on you?

“It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.”
— Frederick Buechner

A Prayer for the Week Between Christmas Day and the New Year

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Whether you are working or taking this week off, it is a unique week as we await the new year. Some people are rushing to complete tasks before 2022 ends. Others are trying to do as little as possible to conserve energy for the new year. Wherever you find yourself in these final days of the year, know you are loved!

God of All Time, We find ourselves nearing the end of the calendar year. The new year is coming soon and yet we must remember the current year has a few more days remaining. Slow us down from rushing to the flip the calendar into a new year. Whether we are working or using up some vacation time, help us to use this time wisely…which doesn’t mean that every minute must be filled. Help us to use this time and all our time wisely by giving thanks to you for the time we have. Seeing each day as a gift is what you ask of us. For the gift of this day, we thank you. For the gift of this year, we thank you. For the gift of our lives, we thank you. Even when life isn’t going according to our plan, we thank you for walking with us and supporting us. So make us aware of your presence this week, we know you are with us and sometime just need a reminder. Thank you for this week before the new year. Amen!

December is Here!

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Happy December! Amid all the joy that many are feeling in this holiday season, be aware of those among us who are feeling a variety of emotions. This is a reminder to be kind to yourself with whatever emotions pop up around the holidays.

Just recently a friend told me her primary mood lately has been melancholy. Another friend’s Mom is nearing the end of her life and receiving care with hospice. I am aware of my own grief that my Mom won’t be physically present with us as we gather as a family this year.

And I can tell you just as many stories filled with joy and excitement for people I know who are delighted this holiday season.

We, humans, are amazingly able to experience more than one emotion at a time. You might be crying and suddenly burst into laughter. A long forgotten photograph might inspire a variety of feelings. Cooking a family recipe might bring back memories of the last time you ate this food gathered around a table filled with family. Unpacking Christmas ornaments might remind you of the loved one on whose tree they used to hang.

As we flip the calendar to a new month (yes, I still have a paper calendar), let us be kind to ourselves and each other. This month may be your favorite and someone else may just be hoping to “make it through December”. You can love the holidays. You can dread the holidays. And you can do both at the same time.

Creating God, you sure did fill us with lots of emotions. And no other month brings those emotions to the surface as fast as December. So remind us to be kind to everyone this month, especially ourselves. When our feelings bubble up to the surface, may we have courage to let them out. And when our feelings linger just below the surface, give us patience with ourselves as we await the time we are ready to share how we are feeling. In joy and sorrow, you Loving God remains our constant companion. Amen.

8 Years Yesterday! Happy Anniversary Tea and Theology!

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It has been 8 years since I began writing here. Of course, so many things have changed in the last 8 years. I have moved from a time of sabbatical to youth ministry to full-time hospice chaplaincy. I have physically moved from the apartment where this blog was born to a lovely home and then a different lovely home. I think of the adventures, joy, and sorrow of the last eight years too. Thank you to the readers who quickly jumped on board and all the readers who have joined along the way. Thank you all for reading and being part of this journey.

It all began with these words-

“Welcome to my new blog.

Here you will find book reviews, worship words (liturgy), and recommendations for a good cup of tea. I hope you’ll find books you’d like to read. I hope you’ll find words that help you connect with God. And, I hope you’ll find a new tea to enjoy. I’m looking forward to walking this journey with you.”

So thank you all for reading, commenting, sharing, and growing with me these past eight years. Blessings to each of you and know I will give thanks for you when I have a cup of tea today.

Peace and Love, Susannah

A Prayer for All Saints’ Day

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Does everyone appreciate this holy day more as they age? I know I do. Today (or the Sunday closest) is a day set aside to remember that this generation of faith is not the first and will not be the last. We have learned from those who have gone before and we are to pass along what we know to be true.

On this All Saints’ Day, I invite you to join me in this prayer that combines some words from the hymns I Sing a Song of the Saints of God and For All the Saints. Pray with me as together we remember and give thanks!

For all the Saints who from their labors rest, we give thanks to you, Loving God, for each and every saint who has gone to be with you. We are thankful for those we knew and loved. We are thankful for those whose stories we heard even though we never met. We are thankful for those whose stories now only live in your memory.

We remember that one was a doctor and one was a queen and one was a prophet and one was a priest and one was slain by a fierce wild beast. And each of them was beloved by you, Faithful God. And the list of who they were to those who loved them is full of descriptions that made each one unique and is a reminder of how You created each one of us with gifts, hopes, and dreams.

Ringed by this cloud of witnesses divine, we feebly struggle, they in glory shine, yet in your love our faithful lives entwine. This is your hope for us, God, that we may feel connected to your children throughout the ages. When we sing this songs, we remember. When we speak their names, we remember. And when we remember, God, we are asking you to help us to be saints too. Amen.

https://hymnary.org/text/for_all_the_saints_who_from_their_labors

https://hymnary.org/text/i_sing_a_song_of_the_saints_of_god

A Benediction for Pentecost

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I love Pentecost. I love the joy when churches encourage people to wear the colors of flames and the sanctuary sparkles with reds, oranges, and yellows. I love that this celebration exists solely in the church-no Pentecost specials at the local restaurants or Pentecost gifts to buy. I love the faithful people who each year seek to be creative using doves, fire, language, and colors to celebrate this important day in the life of the church.

As we prepare to once again celebrate Pentecost, I share with you this benediction.

Beloved, go! Go out into this world filled with the Holy Spirit. Let the Spirit give you words when you have none. Let the Spirit stop your tongue when listening is the answer. Let the Spirit strengthen you when the way ahead is hard. Remember Jesus said he would not leave us alone and would send us a Comforter. Let the Spirit enfold you and comfort you and keep you until we are together again. Go in peace and bring the peace and fiery flames of Holy Spirit with you wherever you go. Amen.

Taize, France

What a Difference a Year Makes

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Last year I was at my parents’ home with the family celebrating Mom’s birthday. Here are a few pictures from that day.

We celebrated Mom well with her favorite people surrounding her with laughter and fun and quality time. At her request, her birthday cake was ice cream cake. It was a great day.

Fast forward one year to today. Mom isn’t here to celebrate with us. I feel less like celebrating today and instead decided to remember her by doing some of her favorite things. I began by reading in bed and didn’t change out of my pajamas (including the shirt Mom was wearing in these pictures) until after noon. I enjoyed a delicious bacon cheeseburger with lettuce and tomato. I spent a long time browsing through the bookstore and then bought books even though my bookshelves are full of good books to read. I took a walk at the park to get some fresh air (that one was for me more so then something I did with Mom). And we ended the night the same way we ended last year with ice cream cake.

I am back home in comfy pants wearing my “Just One More Chapter” shirt topped by my breast cancer sweatshirt. I am planning to read past my bedtime tonight to continue to honor my Mom. She is missed so much by her immediate family, her extended family, and her many friends.

I share my story as a reminder that many people are grieving this holiday season. So many are observing their first holiday (or 2nd or 10th) without a loved one. The holidays are a time of traditions. What happens when someone is no longer there to help with a tradition? How do we reimagine traditions? How do we give ourselves time and space to grieve the changes necessitated by the death of someone we love? I offer my story of today as one way to honor and remember a loved one who has died. It is one example of how to make a hard day a little easier. As you are navigating your own grief or helping someone who is grieving, be kind to yourself and each other.