Book Review-Unafraid: Living with Courage and Hope in Uncertain Times

Recently while logging some miles for work, I heard Adam Hamilton on the radio talking about fear. He is the pastor of Church of the Resurrection United Methodist Church in Kansas and is a prolific writer. The book he was talking about that day was his latest book, Unafraid: Living with Courage and Hope in Uncertain Times. 

The part of his book that he focused on in that conversation was

Face your fears with faith.

Examine your assumptions in light of the facts.

Attack your anxieties with action.

Release your cares to God (35).

 

In this time of fear and anxiety, his words stuck with me. What role does our faith play in our ability to live with fear? Where do we get our facts and do we check the information we are given? What actions are we taking to lower our anxieties? And then can we release all our burdens to God?

Since my sermon for the coming week was about fear ruling the actions of the disciples, I thought this would be a good book to read. The book was a fast read for me. There were many quotes that made it into my sermon and influenced my thinking while writing the sermon. Because I was so drawn in by the FEAR acrostic, I hoped it would feature prominently into the book. Hamilton did talk about it frequently and yet I wanted him to go into more examples of how we might live this out in regular, daily situations.

I would highly recommend this book for anyone who feels overwhelmed by the fears of life that are highlighted in every newscast and many conversations with friends and colleagues. You should read this book if you want an easy primer into how fear affects you as a human. This book is good read for anyone who wants to live more by faith and less by fear.

“Jesus preached that the essence of God’s hope and expectation for the human race was that we love God with our entire being, and that we love our neighbor as we love ourselves. He even said that we were called to love our enemy. If this ethic of love sounds too high-minded to be of much practical use, we can start by asking one very concrete question: ‘In the situation I find myself in, what is the most loving things I can do?’” (63).

In his book, Hamilton shares three principles he has learned about the fear of failure. “Most things are never as hard as your fear they will be” (86).

The second principle is “‘Successful people [however you define success] are willing to do things that unsuccessful people are unwilling to do’. Fear keeps many people and organizations from ever reaching their real potential” (86-87).

“And the third principle, which I’ve shared with many leaders over the years, I call ‘discernment by nausea’. Often when you come to a fork in the road, a decision you have to make between taking this path or another, you’ll find that one path seems easier, safer, and more convenient. More often than not, though, the other path—the one that’s harder, riskier, more inconvenient, the one that leaves you feeling a bit nauseous when you think about it—is the one you should take. Jesus used different language to comment on the same phenomenon. He noted that life tends to present us with two roads we could take. One is broad and easy, yet it leads to destruction. The other is narrow and hard, but it leads to life” (87).

 

“When we fear God—when we revere, respect, and stand in awe of God—we fear everything else a little less” (208).

Do not fear! A Sermon on Mark 9: 30-37

Sunday, September 23, 2018

James 3:13-4:3, 7-8a

Mark 9: 30-37

Every time I have heard someone preach on this gospel text, the focus has been on welcoming children. And as someone who spent more than a decade of my life doing ministry with children and youth, I agree that a major focus of our faith communities needs to be on teaching and welcoming the younger ones among us and children and youth outside these walls. We need a regular reminder that “Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me” (9:31a) as Jesus said. So it is good that countless sermons have been preached on this text. And my hope is that this church which sings about the welcome they have for children each Sunday when children are invited up to these steps, my hope is that this church is a place where children are welcomed and where children know they are loved.

What caught my attention in my recent readings of this text was this line- “But they [the disciples] did not understand what he [Jesus] was saying and were afraid to ask” (9:32). Once I began looking at resources on fear, the options were overwhelming. Fear is everywhere in our culture. We are encouraged to live in a state of fear-always looking over our shoulders, always wondering what someone will do. We are encouraged to buy things out of fear so we are prepared for whatever may come. Fear is not always bad. It is a natural reaction. We need to decide how to respond to our fears and not to let them rule our lives.

Back to the 1st century disciples, “But they [the disciples] did not understand what he [Jesus] was saying and were afraid to ask” (9:32). Like the disciples, most of us do not like to admit what we don’t understand or don’t know. And we certainly don’t want to admit to each other when we are afraid. What if just one of the disciples had raised his hand or tugged on Jesus’ sleeve and said, “I don’t understand what you are saying. Please, explain it to me because I love you and want to follow your teachings.” What courage that disciple would have required to ask Jesus and to ask in front of the rest of the disciples.

And the disciples let the fear rule their actions. They didn’t ask what Jesus was talking about. They didn’t beg for clarification. They were afraid. And while I’m sad that the disciples gave into their fear, I don’t blame them either. Jesus was talking about betrayal, being killed, and rising again. Those aren’t easy topics to hear about from anyone much less your teacher, your leader, the person who you dropped everything to follow. Did they understand Jesus was talking about himself? Did they get so overwhelmed just by hearing betrayed and killed that they didn’t even hear “will rise again”? We don’t know. What we do know is that they were afraid and let fear determine their future actions in today’s story.

“Doubt, as it turns out, is not the opposite of faith; fear is, or at least that kind of fear that paralyzes, distorts, and drives to despair” David Lose

And Fear is nothing unique to our times. “The words fear or afraid appear over four hundred times in scripture” (39). Often it is found as Do not be afraid for the Lord is with you. As people of faith, we know this and yet there is much to fear.

Fear of-

Money-usually not having enough, How can I pay all the bills? Do I have enough money to retire? Now that I have retired did I save enough? When will my money run out? Will I be a burden to others because I don’t have enough money?

Disappointing Others-Am I good enough?

Failures-Can I do this? Should I even try?

Not Being Loved-Does anyone love me? Would they still love me if they knew the real me?

Death-What happens when we die? Will I really go to heaven? If heaven for real?

Change-anticipatory grief

Future-What will the future look like with the environment, the possibility of war, the stock market, the job market, etc?

Not Leaving a Legacy-Am I doing enough with my life?

Not Being Remembered-Will anyone remember me when I am gone?

Growing Up

Aging

Pain

Unknown

So I wonder what fears are holding you back? And what fears might be holding this congregation back? Don’t worry! I am not going to ask you to name them out loud because I do not feel that is my place since I am not your pastor. I do encourage you to talk to Pastor Dale about your fears for yourself, for your loved ones, for your community, and for this faith community. And know that we all have fears and worries about the people and places we love. Former churches I have served have named fears such as-We don’t have enough children in Sunday School. We don’t have enough money to run the church. We don’t have enough people to serve on the council. Our community has more needs than we can meet. We don’t know our neighbors. Naming those fears out loud can help us move from being paralyzed by them to working to change them. They can energize us.

As I was thinking about this sermon, I heard Adam Hamilton on the radio talking about fear. He is the pastor of Church of the Resurrection United Methodist Church in Kansas and is a prolific writer. The book he was talking about that day was his latest book, Unafraid: Living with Courage and Hope in Uncertain Times.

In his book, Hamilton shares three principles he has learned about the fear of failure. “Most things are never as hard as your fear they will be” (86). For the disciples, this one seems very appropriate. While it might have seemed hard to ask Jesus for an explanation, how hard would it really be? The biggest thing holding them back seemed to be the fear of being seen as a failure by Jesus or by the other disciples.

The second principle is “‘Successful people [however you define success] are willing to do things that unsuccessful people are unwilling to do’. Fear keeps many people and organizations from ever reaching their real potential” (86-87). One of the disciples would have needed to do what the others were unwilling to do-admit what he didn’t know and ask for help in understanding. By admitting what one does not know, we can grow and learn. By one disciple taking the risk of looking dumb, all of them could have learned what Jesus was talking about and their fears may have been eased.

“And the third principle, which I’ve hard with many leaders over the years, I call ‘discernment by nausea’. Often when you come to a fork in the road, a decision you have to make between taking this path or another, you’ll find that one path seems easier, safer, and more convenient. More often than not, though, the other path—the one that’s harder, riskier, more inconvenient, the one that leaves you feeling a bit nauseous when you think about it—is the one you should take. Jesus used different language to comment on the same phenomenon. He noted that life tends to present us with two roads we could take. One is broad and easy, yet it leads to destruction. The other is narrow and hard, but it leads to life” (87). If you have ever been in a situation like this one the disciples find themselves in, “discernment by nausea” perfectly describes how they must have been feeling. The easy answer is to not ask the question, to hide in the back, to let the fear rule your choices. The hard answer is to look at Jesus, ignore the feeling of nausea that is creeping up from your stomach, and ask the hard question knowing that this answer leads to life and understanding.

Fear is a natural reaction for the disciples then and Jesus’ disciples today to have. Fear is healthy. There are things we should be afraid of and avoid. Snakes, bears, spiders, alligators, so for me they are basically animals. My husband added laundry to this list which I don’t love to do and don’t count as a fear to be avoided at all costs!

And sometimes our fears start to run our lives

In my work as a hospice chaplain, family members and patients may be afraid to ask the big questions. So I ask the question is anything worrying you today? This is my way of encouraging everyone to name fears without saying the word fears, so we can work on the worries together. Sometimes I get answers like, “I’m 95. What do I have to worry about? I know I’m dying, and I know where I’m going.” I often hear people who worry how the family will get along or cope after their loved ones dies. I hear from people who have financial concerns. Some people are sad they won’t be present for upcoming events in the lives of those they love. And some of them worry that God can’t forgive them or doesn’t love them enough or what if heaven doesn’t exist? All normal questions to ask and worry about and even be afraid of as you are facing your own death or the death of a loved one. So in my work, I encourage people to ask these big scary questions. Say them out loud. Put them out in the open. And they become a little less scary, a little less powerful, a little less reason to be afraid. There is something about naming our own fears that makes them less scary.

What if, in today’s Scripture, one disciple had the courage to name the fear, to ask the question that all of them were wondering?

Where does the fear lead the 1st century disciples? To seek superiority. They don’t want to admit that they were afraid so they argue about something ridiculous. Can you imagine telling Jesus you were arguing about who is the greatest. This is Jesus who is the King of the humble list and self-less and his students are arguing about something that is the opposite of his teachings. All of this happened because they were too afraid to ask a clarifying question.

The word fear is also used in the Bible to describe how we should respond to God. Hamilton said in his book, “When we fear God—when we revere, respect, and stand in awe of God—we fear everything else a little less” (208). Dorothy Bernard is quoted as saying, “Courage is fear that has said its prayers.” Those two ideas are what connect the words from James with what we have been thinking about from Mark’s gospel. When we have a reverence, a healthy respect for, and stand in awe of God, it changes our focus. We have prayed and have the courage to move from fear to wanting to seek God’s wisdom. We want to be those who are “peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy” (3:17).

As those who are surrounded by things we could fear and instead join together in courage to seek God’s wisdom and peace. I’d like to end with the words of the World Peace Prayer.

Lead us from death to life,

From falsehood to truth,

From despair to hope,

From fear to trust.

Lead us from hate to love,

From war to peace:

Let peace fill our hearts,

Let peace fill our world,

Let peace fill our universe. Amen.

Worship Words for a Sunday Morning

On Sunday, I am preaching and leading worship for a local church. I wrote and compiled (from my previous writings) these words that will be used this Sunday. These worship words could be used just about any Sunday of the year as we gather as communities of faith to worship our God.

One-Is there anyone here who has ever felt scared or worried on a Sunday morning? Were you wondering-will I fit in? Will I be welcome? Does God still love me? The answer is yes!

Come in your suits, your shorts, your flip flops, and your dresses.

All-We are welcome here.

One-Come from your jobs, your shelters, your schools, and your retirement homes.

All-We are welcome here.

One-Come wearing smiles, shedding tears, looking nervous or frightened, and with your anger.

All-We are welcome here.

One-Come with your questions and answers. Come with your prayer requests and answered prayers. Come to sing songs you love and songs others love. Come to hear God’s Word as part of this faith community.

All-We are God’s beloved. Let us worship our God who loves us just as we are.

 

Invocation-

Amazing God, you have welcomed us into your house today, and we are grateful. Speak to us in words, in music, in the smiles of another, in the peace we feel here, and in the silence. We open our herts and our minds to hear from you. Amen. 

 

Invitation to the Offering-

All that we have is a gift from God. This is our opportunity to say thank you to God by returning what we have been given to the Giver of All Good Gifts. With generous hearts, let us give our gifts.

 

Prayer of Dedication

Gracious God,

We present to you our tithes and offering knowing you have great plans for the money we give.  We, also, offer ourselves for your service knowing you have great plans for each of us.  Use what we have given and use us to share your love with this hurting and hopeful world.  Amen.

 

Benediction

May love rain down on us, so we know why God calls us beloved.

May challenges and questions fill our days, so we know the Spirit of Wisdom and Creativity who walks with us.

May many opportunities to see Jesus in each other arise, so we practice compassion, justice, and mercy as Jesus did.

Go out into God’s world knowing you are never alone and always loved. Amen.

Book Review-Hospice Whispers: Stories of Life

Hospice Whispers: Stories of Life 

Rev. Dr. Carla Cheatham
I highly recommend this book for anyone who has cared for a loved one who was dying, anyone who works in a helping profession, anyone who loves stories of ordinary and extraordinary people, and anyone who wants a glimpse into the world of hospice.

I do this work everyday and I still found myself crying in a restaurant while reading this book. These stories will tug at your heart, make you smile and cry, and give you insights into why hospice workers keep coming back to work day after day.

Ask any hospice worker and we will share stories like this with you. We’ll also share our mistakes too. Like the time I was sitting with my patient’s wife. He had just died and she was tearfully holding his hand. I told her how much I enjoyed visiting with them and how they’d been a good team for so long. She responded, “68 years.” I said, “That’s a long time.” She looked me in the eye and said, “Not long enough.” And she’s right, when you love someone it is never long enough.

This book uses stories to tell what we do and don’t do in hospice. You will be impressed by the work of all the disciplines on the hospice team. “This book was intended to point to the rich gifts and experiences that punctuate what seems to the outside world an impossibly sad job. My hope was to make death seem a little less scary, to make hospice just a little better understood, to help families and even patients feel just a little more prepared for what the process can look like” (174).
I am thankful to my supervisor who gave me this book for Christmas last year. I am thankful that I (finally) took the time to sit down and read it. This book is a gift. I hope you’ll read it and open yourself to the joy that is contained within these pages.
If you ever have the chance to hear Carla speak, please go. I have heard her multiple times and every time it was worth it. She speaks to a variety of audiences, and I know she will have something to say to you that you need to hear.

Middle of the Night Prayer

Recently, I found myself awake and unable to go back to sleep at 3:30 in the morning. I tried all my usual ways to encourage myself to go back to sleep and none of them worked. Instead of fretting over how I was going to make it through the work day with so little sleep, I decided to pray for people I know and those I do not know who are awake at this time of day.
Loving God,
Be with the caregivers of babies and young children who find themselves awakened in the middle of the night. Send your peace to mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and all other people who are awake because the schedules of babies and small children do not fit into a neat box. Grant them your compassion when they are exhausted. Grant them good rest for the times they get to sleep. And surround them with kind people who will help them through the difficult nights and days.
Be with those who work the overnight hours to keep us safe, healthy, warm or cool, and fed. Be with the night owls who enjoy the overnight shifts and be with the people who take those shifts for the extra money to try to make ends meet. Keep them safe on the roads and in their places of work. Help them to know that their hard work is appreciated.
Be with the caregivers to the ill and dying who are awake in the night. Send your peace to the caregivers and the ones receiving care. Send people into their lives to support them in this challenging time. And help them to hold onto hope for healing in this life or the next life.
Be with all who are awake because of worry or anxiety or stress or racing thoughts. Calm the mind and spirit. Send your spirit of peace upon all who are seeking peace this night. Remind each one that they are loved more than they know and you are always here.
Be with all who are awake and don’t even know why. Give them strength for the coming day.
God, for all who find themselves awake before the sun, we ask your blessing. Hear their prayers and answer them. Send your spirit of peace upon them and grant them a good rest soon. Amen.

Wild Maine Blueberry Loose Black Tea

Bar Harbor Tea Company’s Wild Maine Blueberry Loose Black Tea is amazing. When I opened the bag of tea, I felt like I was walking through a blueberry farm. This tea gives you an explosion of blueberries from the first sip to the last sip, and yet the taste of blueberries isn’t fake or overwhelming. I love that they paired black tea with blueberries, so I can have a fun morning cup of tea with some caffeine too. This tea is going to be my morning choice for the last few weeks of summer. A big thank you to my tea drinking friend for giving me my first taste of this fabulous new tea and introducing me to a new place to find delicious teas.

It’s Okay to Cry

It’s Okay to Cry
In my work as a hospice chaplain, I have the privilege to spend time with a variety of people. I learn from them. As I was sitting with a man who is reflecting on his life as his death nears, I asked him about his life. He shared-
God is good.
Time goes by so fast.
And I wonder if I always remembered to tell my people I love them.
Those are three good lessons to ponder and live.
And here is a fourth. I was sitting with a woman who has dementia and whose husband is dying. She has difficulty finding the words she wants to say. She is aware of the changes she is seeing in her spouse of many, many years. And as I was talking with her she began to cry. I said, “It’s okay to cry”, and she repeated the phrase over and over.
So today I hope you find strength, peace, and hope in the words of our elders who are nearing the end of their journey. I hope you’ll read these words and share them with others who need to hear them.
God is good.
Time goes by so fast.
And I wonder if I always remembered to tell my people I love them.
It’s okay to cry.

Bread for All!

Today’s Gospel lesson begins this way, “Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” -John 6:35. When I hear these words or gather around the communion table with a community of believers, I remember a story. One Sunday morning I was serving communion by intinction (each person gets a piece of bread or cracker and dips it into a cup of juice or wine). I love serving communion this way in my own community because I can call each person by name and remind them that this meal is for each and every one of them. A father and son came up to me and did not take bread and had nothing to dip in my cup. Thinking they were a little confused by the process I started to encourage them to get some bread for dipping. The Dad said to me in a very quiet voice, “We cannot take communion, so we come up and pretend. We cannot have gluten.” These words broke my heart. I continued to serve communion to the rest of the people in line, and yet I couldn’t get his words out of my mind. This table (Jesus’ table) is a place where no one should need to pretend. Each person is invited to come as they are and know they are loved. And we were not able to welcome these two.

Immediately after worship, I began an important conversation with people able to make the necessary changes. Conversations about the best way to move forward occurred. And it was decided that we should not single out those who need gluten-free bread, we would only offer gluten-free bread. It was not a smooth and easy process, and yet it was the right thing to do. I am thankful that after this change when I stood at the table and invited all to come forward I knew I meant it. No one would need to pretend.

This story reminds me that I need to look for roadblocks that I am causing others. I need to mean what I say. I need to accept people as they are and where they are. I need to remember when Jesus says, “I am the bread of life”, it means bread that all can eat and enjoy.

Hosea 10:12 Calling Us to Worship and Sending Us out to Serve

Sow for yourselves righteousness;
Reap steadfast love;
Break up your fallow ground;
For it is time to seek the Lord, that he may come and rain righteousness upon you. -Hosea 10:12

Hosea appears four times in the lectionary. The verse I am referencing today does not appear in the lectionary. That means you could attend church every Sunday for three years and never hear this verse. This verse is just one example of why some pastors decide to go off lectionary and explore stories and verses that are seldom heard.

Hosea (like all the prophets) is not an easy book to read. Hosea speaks to the people who have been unfaithful to God. When I read this book, the verse I kept coming back to was Hosea 10:12. Maybe it is because I grew up in farming communities and have relatives who farmed. Maybe it was the action verbs calling me into service. I read this verse over and over and over. And I pondered how to use it and how to share it.

This verse would make a perfect call to worship or benediction as it challenges us to examine how we are living and return to God. It would be a great discussion verse for a Sunday School class of any age or youth group night. It would be a great verse to read while breaking ground at a community garden. For self or group reflection, you might turn the verses into questions-Where can I sow righteousness? How can I reap steadfast love? What fallow ground do I need to break up? How, when, where, and why is it time for me to seek the Lord?

I encourage you to spend some time with these words and see how they can influence you.

 

Psalm 24 Benediction

A benediction as the week draws to an end.

In a world that feels divided, let us remember, friends, that “The earth is the Lord’s and all that is in it, the world, and those who live in it” (Psalm 24:1). This is a reminder that God loves each and every person here on Earth. God loves this planet we call home. God loves the animals, the rivers, the lakes, the mountains, the deserts. God created this planet and called it good. So, as you go out into God’s world, go knowing you belong to the One who created all you see. Go knowing God loves you and wants you to enjoy this beautiful world where you live. Amen.