Lessons Learned from My Mom

Last week, my Mom died. I spent her final days with her. Her family surrounded her physically and with our love. Our hearts are broken. I found comfort in writing these words about her which were read at her service.

Lessons Learned from My Mom

-Love your people with your whole heart. Mom didn’t always say I love you out loud. She lived her love by being present with those she loved, by listening, by remembering. A few years ago, Becky decided she wanted her parents to say I love you out loud, so she trained them to end each phone conversation and visit with an I love you. Be like Mom and tell people you love them and make your actions match your words.

-Read a Book! We all know Mom loved to read. Her face lit up when she talked about a new book she was reading. While her husband didn’t share her love of reading, he would go with her to used book sales and repack her books so she got the most books possible in her box of books for one price and he would amuse himself in countless bookstores while Mom browsed and bought more books. In November, Mom and Susannah sorted through her vast book collection as Mom said, “I will never live long enough to read all these book.” It wasn’t a sad moment because they laughed as they realized that Mom’s personal library after sorting was still so large that it would take many lifetimes to read through. Be like Mom and read a book.

-Spoil your grandchildren. While Mom loved her husband, daughters and sons-in-law, the joy she felt for Ella and Reid was immeasurable. Grandma Marilyn as they called her made each day special for them with time for playing together and as that got harder for her plenty of time for snuggling in her chair. Grandma Marilyn was so proud of the amazing people her grandchildren are and knew they were going to do great things in their life. Be like Grandma Marilyn and spoil your grandchildren with love.

-Keep your promises. On a hot summer day in 1971, a very much younger Marilyn married Paul. And for the next 49.5 years, they were partners in life. It could not have been easy being a pastor’s wife, never living near family, moving multiple times and starting over in a new strange place, and yet Paul’s call to ministry was Marilyn’s call too. They had different temperaments and interests, and a common purpose to love each other and raise a family. And in the good times and hard times, they were there for each other. Be like Marilyn and keep your promises.

-Love your work. For many years, Mom’s work was raising her children and being involved in church. When Becky was in high school, Mom started working at Walmart. She loved the people she worked with and the people she helped. When she started, she worked overnights so she didn’t miss any of Becky’s activities or sports. When she moved to the Bloomington store, she switched to day shift. She showed up for work each day with a smile on her face and brightened the days of her coworkers and customers. She always had a fun story to tell about what happened today at Walmart. Whatever work you do, be like Mom and do it with a smile.

-Live your faith. Mom believed in living her faith by loving others and sharing what she had. Her faith was private to her, and yet it was obvious in the way she lived and the choices she made. She loved God with her whole heart and all of her neighbors as herself. Be like Mom and live your faith!

-Laugh! Mom loved to laugh. She laughed often although not too often at Dad’s bad jokes because those usually got an eye roll. When Mom really got laughing, she went into silent mode. Mom would be laughing so hard that no sound would come out and she would jiggle and her face would turn bright red. When that happened you had to laugh along because you knew it was funny. The world needs more laughter, be like Mom and laugh.

-Be strong. Mom was never one to complain. She dealt with pain, the challenges of her illness, and the unknown with strength. As we are all here grieving, try to be strong like Mom.