Writings

20 Years of Ordained Ministry!

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20 years! What an amazing journey this has been. I have served in four different church positions and been a hospice chaplain. If you had told me 20 years ago, that this is where I would be today…I probably would have answered like Sarah with laughter (Genesis 18:12).

As I read over the words of the service of Ordination to Ministry from the UCC’s Book of Worship, these words caught and held my attention.

“Will you seek to regard all people with equal love and concern and undertake to minister impartially to the needs of all?”

And I answered, “I will, relying on God’s grace.”

It has been a joy and a privilege and a challenge to answer and live into the call to ordained ministry these past twenty years. I give thanks to God regularly for those who nurtured my call when I was young, those who stretched and molded my faith, those who welcomed me into their lives as their pastor and chaplain, and those who supported and those who continue to support me on this journey.

I love that I was ordained on Reformation Day as it reminds me of the many that have gone before in the faith. And the Scripture that was read and preached that day continues to bring me hope and strength and challenge, Luke 24:13-35. It is the story of the road to Emmaus. I’ll sum it up for you. It is the day of the resurrection and Jesus walks with two of the faithful. They do not recognize him. He tells the story of faith and still they do not recognize him. When do they finally know it is Jesus? When he breaks the bread at the table with them, they finally know this is Jesus. I love the beauty and simplicity of this story. Where is Jesus among us and I don’t recognize him? When I gather at Christ’s table are my eyes and heart open to see who is standing beside me?

These last 20 years have been full of every single emotions. As I look back at where I have been I will not even try to guess where I will be 20 years from now. I am thankful that God keeps me guessing and always keeps the journey interesting.

A Prayer for Jury Duty

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I have jury duty the entire month of July. I might be more excited than the average person about fulfilling my civic duty.

Also, I might have gotten called in and then not gotten selected. I did enjoy getting to see the process unfold, and there is still time this month for me to make it on a jury. Fingers crossed.

This whole experience inspired me to write a prayer for jury duty. Although it is often a hardship to have jury duty, it is a right for citizens of the United States to have an impartial group of peers decide if they did or did not break the law. So, the next time you are called to serve, try to keep a positive attitude even while it is disrupting your life. You might even enjoy it like I did.

Gracious God, You encourage us not to judge one another. And yet, that is just what is being asked of jurors. Grant us a sense of calm and listening ears. Give us patience as we hurry up and wait to see if we will be selected for the jury. If picked to serve on the jury, help us to remember that each person here is your beloved child. Send us your spirit of peace. Let us listen for your voice as we make this important decision. Amen.

A To Do List Prayer

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I was just telling a friend that my to do lists are full and not getting shorter. And that is right, I said to do lists. More than one to do list! I love making lists because writing things down helps me to remember and checking things off is so satisfying!

So when you find your lists full and too much to do, take a moment and pray!

Loving God, I can’t imagine what your to do lists must look like. You have so many things and people occupying your time and energy. And yet, you always have time for me. Help us to remain productive when needed and to not become burdened by our lists of tasks. There will always be more to do. You remind us that rest is essential. So encourage us to honor the Sabbath even if it means we need to write it on our lists to make time for rest and you. Forgive our busyness and our mindset that more to do is better. Send your spirit of peace upon us to remind us which things are more important and which things can wait for another day. Slow us down and reorient our priorities, we pray. Amen!

What is Next?

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I’m going back to youth ministry and back to school.

I am so excited to share that I am now the Director of Youth Ministry at Buckingham Presbyterian Church in Berlin, Maryland. I am enjoying getting to know the youth and their families and the whole congregation. It feels good to be back in church ministry again and to be spending my time with the younger ones in the congregation.

And starting next week, I will begin studying counseling at UMES. I am working toward a master’s degree specializing in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.

So, I am doing something very new and different and something very familiar that feels like going home.

Thankful for new opportunities and thankful for each one of you and the support you have given me!

A look back at when I was DCE coordinating the Christmas Eve service!

Changes!

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Well, this day has finally arrived. Today is my last day at Coastal Hospice. After 8 years of visiting people in their homes to support them at the end of life, this is the end of my time doing this work. As for what comes next, stay tuned for more updates on that. Today is a day to celebrate and give thanks for my time at hospice.

I have loved meeting people and hearing their stories. My heart has ached when I entered the same home again for another family member nearing death, and yet that was also the beauty of doing this work for so long. If a second family member needed our services, families knew they would get the support they needed for this hard time.

So many people think hospice is all tears and sadness. I worked hard to help people understand that we are here to help with meaning making, to celebrate the joys-I cannot even add up how many birthdays I helped celebrate, and to make this part of the journey a little easier. I baptized someone in a swimming pool. I officiated a wedding in a living room. I served communion and brought ashes to homes for Ash Wednesday. I sang Christmas carols in July. I watched birds eating from feeders and sat outside sweating with people who loved the outdoors.

I love hospice because we treat the patient as a whole person recognizing they have physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. We work together as a team to meet those needs and to equip and support the families who are dealing with changing roles and often anticipatory grief.

A picture of me on my first day!

It has been a joy to do this work. I have laughed and cried and offered hugs and prayed and learned so many fun facts and met so many interesting people. Saying goodbye is so hard. I have had the privilege of working along side so many amazing and dedicated people who feel called to this work. Together we have done it well. I will miss you and this good, hard work!

A Silent Retreat

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Have you ever attended a silent retreat? I would highly recommend it, and I also think that they might not be a fit for everyone.

A dear friend invited me to join a silent retreat she was leading at her church. It was held on a Saturday from 10am to 4pm. And I loved it.

We gathered together to talk about the plan for the retreat. She gave us time to center ourselves and then one last chance to speak…and then the quiet began.

I had packed a bag with letter writing supplies, a spiritual book, a journal, and coloring book/colored pencils. My goal was not to feel like I had a to do list which is so hard for me because I love a good list.

I started reading some of my favorite Scripture verses Lamentations 3:21-26. I read these verses slowly and from different translations. Then I wrote them down noticing the words that were similar and different. I was wondering how long it had been since I read the book of Lamentations, so I read it too!

I went for a walk outside slowing my pace and noticing the sounds and sights around me. All of the sudden I thought of how my sister and I used to walk on parking lot lines and painted curbs like they were balance beams. And so, I did this. I giggled out loud (whoops, sorry silent retreat). I slowly walked all around the church property feeling young. And then the bells started playing hymns. They were announcing it was noon and time for lunch. I sang along in my head to words inscribed on my heart from my childhood.

Lunch felt awkward. To sit around tables with people and not talk was hard. Do I make eye contact? Do I look away? What should I do? Maybe read the ingredient list on my food to pass the time.

After lunch, time for coloring and prayer and writing letters and reading and sitting and walking. The time passed so much more quickly than I imagined. It felt like a gift to spend this much time in silence with God.

I encourage you to try something new to you to stretch your spiritual muscles.

Renewing God, we pray that you renew us as we try something new. Give us courage and patience as we stretch our spiritual muscles. Remind us that you will be with us as we embark on things previously undone. In silence and peace, we come before you. Amen.

An Early Morning Prayer

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If you know me, you know I am not someone who wakes up early for fun. I can wake up early. I choose to sleep because sleep is a lovely gift. I am not sure what is happening lately because I have been waking up an hour before my alarm and enjoying the extra time. Yesterday, I wrote a funeral service before my alarm sounded. Today, I am writing my second blog post long before my alarm goes off or the sun decides to show itself. While I don’t know how long my new found morning productivity will last, I am going to embrace it (not sure I have much choice). So, if you find yourself up before the sun, here is a prayer for you!

God, Morning has not even broken yet, and I am awake. I know you are awake as well. Thank you for another day of life. Thank you for walking beside me whatever this day may hold. As I pray, I open my eyes and see that light is beginning to illuminate life outside my window. Thank you for the morning. For all awake already, give them your peace as they go through the day. For those still sleeping, give them peace and good rest. As morning begins to break, give me what I need for today. Amen and Amen.

I love being a hospice chaplain!

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I was asked to write an article for Coastal Hospice’s quarterly newsletter about joy and hope in hospice chaplaincy. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy doing this work!

I am often asked how do you do your job? The assumption behind this question is that the work of a hospice chaplain/spiritual counselor must be so sad. And yes, I have the privilege to be with people for hard conversations and tearful goodbyes. What you might be surprised to know is that just as often I get to share in moments of joy and hope too.

Here are just a few examples. A 90 year old hospice patient pulled up his pant leg to show me his super hero socks and requested the next time I visit that I must wear fun socks too. For my next visit, the nurse and I visited together and everyone smiled as we showed off our fun socks. This has become a regular ritual of everyone showing off their socks at each visit.

Hospice chaplains can do weddings! I gathered with a couple and their families and dogs in a living room and officiated their marriage. They had planned to get married and had never made the time. I was able to fulfill this goal for them in their own home. 

We help celebrate special days. I have enjoyed many pieces of birthday cake with patients and families as we celebrate another year of life. I have eaten at the Chinese buffet with a patient and her hospice team because she loved Chinese food and wanted to enjoy it with the people who helped care for her. 

I have a patient who loves music and laughs each time I sing songs from the 50s and 60s with her. When she is done laughing at my singing, she sings along.

As a chaplain, I am welcomed into someone’s home and invited to be part of their journey. I consider it a privilege to celebrate the important and everyday moments of life along with hospice patients and families.

2 Years Without My Mom

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Today is a sad day as it has now been two years since my Mom died. As I think about the last two years, sometimes it seems like so long since I last talked to Mom and other times it is like two years flew by. And that is grief.

As I have been thinking of this day, a quote from Frederick Buechner kept returning to my mind.

“When you remember me, it means you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.”

When I think of the marks of my mother that she imprinted on me, the list is long.

She taught me to love music-playing it and hearing it. She said it was important to practice too and she liked practicing as little as I did.

She was always reading multiple books at once. She kept books and her reader in different places so she had something close by to read whenever she had a free moment. She was always happy someone was reading no matter what they were reading! She loved to give book recommendations and loved to give a book to another reader (usually me) as soon as she finished!

My Mom found so much joy in seeing happiness in the people she loved. She loved to hear about my day, my work, and what was going on in my life. She was genuinely happy when her people were happy.

My Mom liked to eat foods that made her happy. No one who met Mom will argue with the fact that Mom was a picky eater! And yet, she was happy to eat her favorite meals and snacks over and over again. Two of the last things Mom ate were a homemade cinnamon roll and a lemon Bundt cake to celebrate my birthday! Potlucks and church suppers were never her favorite because someone might try to sneak some mayonnaise or a scary vegetable into her meal.

I could go on and on sharing ways that my Mom has left her mark on me. In memory of my Mom, could you take a few minutes today to tell someone special in your life that you love them and how they have left their mark on you?

“It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.”
— Frederick Buechner

How Do You Know?

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I love to ask someone what they loved about their significant other in my work at hospice. It can be a great way to learn so much about both of them. I like to ask how they met and what is the secret to their years together. Sometimes I get an immediate answer. Sometimes they say I don’t know and promise to think more about it.

My spouse and I are away celebrating (belatedly) 15 years of marriage. Here is what happened today that answers that question for me.

My husband has wanted to do deep sea fishing for years. I mean years and years. He scheduled the two of us to go. The plan was to go and catch lots of fish and then eat them together in a delicious meal. Great plan! On this beautifully, warm day, we hit the open water. He reeled in a mahi-mahi. I reeled in a red snapper. And then I realized I was not made to do deep sea fishing. I promise no details except I was sick! And you know what, not one time was my spouse grumpy or upset that we had to return to land earlier than planned. Not one time! Instead he said you were out here for a long time and we caught fish!

So the next time someone asks me the secret to marriage, I will share this story. And say find someone who keeps on loving you even you puke all over their dreams.

1 Mahi-mahi and 18 Red Snapper!