I am writing this while in vacation mode. This is what I call it when I am off my normal work/life routine. My alarm clock doesn’t force me to get up and go to the shower before I want to be awake. I let my amazing colleagues take care of my work while I do the same for them while they are off. The have to’s change to want to’s. Vacation mode is a good way to be.
In the challenging times in which we live, it is essential that we reset our routines when possible by spending time in vacation mode. You can staycation. You can get away. There are no rules about how you move into vacation mode. The most important thing is doing what you need to do to allow yourself a break.
Here is a prayer for when you are in vacation mode.
Loving God, you took time to rest and we need to do the same. Bless this time when we reset our routine by spending time in vacation mode. Slow our breathing. Ease our worries. Clear our minds. Open us to the joy in this day. Amen.
Here is what is on my mind today…enjoying a lazy river. Picture this with me. You get an inner tube, position yourself in a comfortable manner, and float. The water propels you onward, so no need to paddle or swim or consider where you are going because the water will move you. You might bump into someone else on this journey or you may bounce off a wall. The water may move you swiftly or slowly and whatever the speed that is the perfect speed because you have nowhere to be right now except where you are. I forget how much I enjoy this carefree easy float until I do it again.
A few weeks ago, we took our niece to a local, outdoor waterpark. I started with the lazy river. I love the relaxation I feel as I float. Not getting anywhere fast just floating.
Then I went down a water slide and felt my heart beat faster as I plunged toward the pool at the bottom of the slide. Not my favorite thing and still something to try out when one is at a waterpark.
And then I walked back to the lazy river. I floated round and round until my fingers were wrinkled and muscles had relaxed. On one pass around the river, I looked at my husband and saw him looking the most relaxed I have seen him in weeks or maybe months.
On the lazy river, you can look up at the clouds floating by or stare into the water or close your eyes because you are not steering anyway.
This isn’t a commercial to go to a waterpark. This is an encouragement for you to ponder what or where is your lazy river? What place or experience allows you to relax and unwind? And how can you schedule time to do that regularly enough to renew your spirit?
Creator of Sun and Rain, Water and Dry Land, and all that we know. We call on you now to help us renew our spirits. Inspire us to know how we might draw closer to you. Lead us to our lazy rivers where we might float away our worries and trust in you again. Bring us peace this day, we pray. Amen.
While this blog post is entitled “talking with children about death”, the information contained here can be used for any difficult topic that must be discussed with children.
Here are some important things to remember.
1)Answer the question that is being asked. No need to share too much information. Simply answer the question being asked in age-appropriate words and descriptions.
2)Be honest. If you don’t have an answer, say that. If this is hard for you to talk about, say that. Children want to know the truth as they are figuring out how to navigate this world.
3)Remain true to your beliefs. When answering questions about death, don’t tell your children things that don’t align with your belief system. If you are answering questions for someone else’s child, ask the child what they have been told by a guardian already to ensure that you are supporting the beliefs of the family.
4)Share your feelings. You do not need to share all your feelings with the children in your life when you are grieving (it is good to have other adults who you can turn to), however letting a child see you sad or crying or angry at death can help them know it is okay to have and express emotions.
In February, my Mom died. Her grandchildren were left with so many questions as she was such an important part of their lives. I am sharing some of the questions asked because they may help someone else tread these challenging times and it is healing for me to share these stories. And the questions whirling in the heads of children are often not the questions that adults wonder, so it can be helpful to read what other children have asked.
When my 6 year old nephew saw Mom’s cell phone was still sitting on her table beside her chair, he asked why Grandma didn’t take her cell phone to heaven? If only Grandma had taken her phone, we could still talk to her. We responded to this question by saying that we wished cell phones worked in heaven because we wanted to talk to her too. And when my 9 year old niece asked to send one final “I love you” text to Grandma’a phone, we let her knowing it was her way to enact an important ritual for a final time.
When we arrived to the funeral home for the visitation and saw Mom’s body in the casket, my nephew said, “Are we in heaven?” We responded that this was not heaven and it was the funeral home. He said if this isn’t heaven why is Grandma here? We responded that Grandma’s spirit was in heaven and this was our time to say goodbye to her. Then he asked if her legs had already gone to heaven because they were covered by the bottom half of the casket.
Recently, my Dad and nephew went to the cemetery to see where Mom is buried. My nephew said, “I miss Grandma. Do you?” Dad replied simply, “Yes, I miss her too.”
My final suggestion to you is be kind to yourself as you grieve and help those you love grieve. Grief is good, hard work. We grieve because we have loved and been in close relationships with others. Give yourself time to grieve, and when possible, be extra kind to those you know who are also grieving.
God of all the broken hearted, you see our tears. You feel our sadness. You know how we feel because you feel it too. On our grief journeys, strengthen us when the way ahead is too hard to go alone. When it is all too much, tell us to stop and rest and then try again. Remind us to be kind to ourselves and each other because we all feel the pain of deaths of loved ones. Hold our broken hearts in your compassionate hands, Faithful One. We pray this prayer in the name of Jesus whose own heart broke many times too. Amen.
My nephew and mother cuddled up together days before her death.
If we have anything in common, it might be that you have things you are holding onto that you no longer use or need. It is a continuous task on my to do list to keep sorting and passing on things that others might need more than me. If sentimental feelings are involved, it is harder for me to let go.
While at a former church, I supported an amazing group of women who started a prayer shawl ministry. They spent hours teaching me to knit. Hours and hours and hours. Despite their best efforts, this was not something at which I excelled.
My best Buddy was an amazing knitter. She helped me purchase the best yarns, knitting needles, and pattern books to support my attempts at knitting. My Mom loved to crochet and shared some of her extra items with me. Both of this talented women are no longer here with us and I know that holding onto these items will not bring them back. They would prefer that I shared them with someone who would use them. So, I looked through this big bin of goodies. I found a few random items that I am keeping and am sending the rest of it on to a new, good home along with a prayer of thanksgiving.
Holy One, We become attached to things especially when they remind us of loved ones. Help us to hold on to our memories. Help us to let go of the things we do not use. Help us to give freely and let go when needed. Bless the items we pass along and the people who receive them. And bless those of us (reluctantly or easily) sharing what we have. With a spirit of gratitude for everything and everyone, we say amen.
Again this year, I am attempting 1000 Hours Outside. It is a challenge. We are halfway through the year today, and I have 396.75 hours outside. I recognize that I am short of my halfway goal. I am sharing my progress to inspire others to do hard things even if you don’t meet your goal.
Celebrations- 1)I have spent time outside every single day this year. As someone who prides herself on “not leaving the house days”, this is a major accomplishment. 2)This challenge has inspired me to be more aware of time spent outside. I am making an extra effort to be outside for longer and do outside activities.
Challenges-1)This is hard! Averaging spending 2 hours and 45 minutes daily outside is hard. So hard! 2)The weather does not cooperate. It is hot, cold, and wet outside at times.
My plan is to keep on working on this major goal! Will I get to 1000 hours? Maybe. Maybe not. Will I keep going outside to work my way closer to my goal? Yes! What goal are you doing to keep on working on?
Go Outside!
God of Big Dreams, Hopes, and Plans, we all have goals we would like to reach, plans we would like to achieve and hopes leading us onward. Guide us. Strengthen us. Support us. When the way seems long, keep us moving along…one foot in front of the other. And when the end is far beyond our vision, inspire us to continue the journey. Journey ahead of us, O God, and we will follow. Amen.
This is modified from an inspirational call I led this morning for Coastal Hospice.
Prior to my time here at Coastal Hospice, I spent over a decade working with youth in a number of different churches. Youth ministry is a fun and challenging ministry that requires kindness, compassion, creativity, and lots of energy. We would often spend some time playing games or doing ice breakers as we got to know each other better. One of my favorite get to know you games is would you rather. Here’s how this game works. You have to pick between the two options. If you like both options, you must pick one. If you like neither option, you must pick one. One way to play is we could have everyone who picks option a move to the left and everyone who picks option b move to the right. Or we could raise hands with our preferred choice to have less chaos and movement. I would love to know how you will answer these questions as would you rather is best played in person.
Would you rather live near the beach or near the mountains?
Would you rather travel into space or under water in a submarine?
Would you rather only drink coffee or tea for the rest of your life?
If you could only have one for the rest of your life, would you pick catchup or mustard?
Would you rather watch the sunrise or sunset?
Would you rather find $5 on the ground or find all your missing socks?
Would you rather swim in the ocean or in a pool?
Would you rather be 6 or 16 again?
Would you rather go two weeks without a shower or a month without brushing your teeth?
Would you rather read a book or watch tv?
Would you rather every day was winter or summer?
Would you rather do a job you love for very little money or a a job you don’t enjoy for a million dollars a year?
You might wonder why I asked all these questions. Our lives are filled with so many choices. I wanted to start your week with a series of fun, funny, and challenging questions. So, blessings on this week ahead. May the choices you need to make be easier than a game of would you rather.
Pray with me.
God, each day we have many choices in our lives. Some easy, some hard. Be with us in this new week as we make many decisions. Guide us. Give us strength. Give us wisdom. Give us patience. May we start this new week with hope for the good work we will do. Grant us peace. Amen.
As we usher in a new month, I thought a prayer to welcome the turning of the calendar (if anyone still does that) might help us.
Loving God, Five months of this year have been completed. We start month six today. As June begins, open us to new possibilities. Where are you calling us to go? What are you asking us to do? God, what hopes do you have for this new month and how might our hopes align with yours? This new month gives a clean start, so give us courage this day as we expand our horizons and explore new adventures. Keep us safe while nudging us onward. Give us strength where it is needed. Ground us in love as we face new challenges. Be our constant companion as we start this new chapter today. Amen.
“Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then it was said among the nations, the Lord has done great things for them.” — Psalm 126:2 NRSV
My Dad is visiting me, and last night he got a phone call from his grandchildren. I could hear they were telling jokes, so I asked him to put the call on speakerphone. I love when children tell jokes. I love jokes that are well thought out. I love jokes that only make sense to the person telling them. I love to hear the delight in a child’s voice when they tell a joke.
My niece will be 10 this summer, and my nephew finished Kindergarten this week and is six. Their original jokes were as different as they are. And the common trait shared by every joke was joy. They wanted to make others laugh and have an extra excuse to laugh themselves.
Reid (age 6)-How so you make an Aunt Suz? With Slime (cue laughter).
Ella (age 9)-How does a cactus find stuff? It pokes around (cue laughter).
I hope your day includes at least one laugh. Whether you laugh with yourself (we do many silly and funny things), at a joke, at a story, with a friend or alone, I hope this day brings a moment of laughter for you. As a hospice patient who is in his late 90s said this week, “We all need to laugh.” I invite you to take his advice and find some humor in your day.
God of Laughter and Joy, We can take ourselves and our life too seriously. Slow us down and remind us to grin. Then push us to chuckle. When we are ready, give us an opportunity to laugh out loud. And when the time is right, give us a big laugh. Whether we laugh from deep in our bellies or loudly or silently with tears of joy streaming down our cheeks, remind us that laughter is a gift from you. Give us moments of laughter today, we pray. Amen.
No matter how you are currently feeling about COVID-19, there is one thing on which we can all agree it has affected our lives. Over the past year, it has been a regular topic of conversation and has changed the way we live our lives.
Recently the conversations I have heard have been about what is the right thing to do. If I’m vaccinated, can I do this? How should vaccinated and unvaccinated people interact? When will I get the vaccine? How long will this last? So many questions are focused on what is the right thing to do for myself and for others.
While pondering all these questions, a colleague sent me an article from TIME called “We’re in the Third Quarter of the Pandemic. Antarctic Researchers, Mars Simulation Scientists, and Navy Submarine Officers Have Advice for How to Get Through It” by Tara Law.
The article says that the “third quarter phenomeon” was first named by researchers in 1991 who were observing people living in cold climates who had no choice but to isolate due to the weather. They noted changes in the moods of people nearing the end of their time of isolation. Whilte this is still a theory, it might apply to how some of us are feeling in this 3rd Quarter of COVID-19. Vaccines are rolling out. Restrictions are easing. The weather is improving. What are we to do?
This article talks about the similiarties people felt in isolation and encourages the reader to be aware of how one is feeling. As we can see the light beginning to peak out at the end of the tunnel, you may find yourself “irritable, unhappy, or otherwise off”. This is because we are all tired of how it has been, looking ahead to what is coming, and tired of putting in the extra effort required to continue to isolate and distance.
What helped those in the article? “Focusing on the mission.” As far as COVID-19 is concerned, our mission hasn’t changed. We want to slow the spread and keep each other safe and healthy. This article recommended caring for yourself and doing things to feed your spirit as together we live through this 3rd Quarter of COVID.
Let us pray. Holy One, we are tired. We are tired of being 6 feet apart from each other. We are tired of wearing our masks. We are tired of hand santizing and washing our hand although we will continue to do so. Give us the strength to keep on keeping on. Remind us of your love for each of us and how we are called to care for each other. Help us when it is hard. Thank you for all who have worked so dilligently to beat this virus. Help us to see our small steps as ways we support each other. In your holy name we pray. Amen.
I wrote this prayer earlier this week. I have prayed it many times lately in thanksgiving for God’s faithfulness whatever the day may bring. Peace to you, this day.
Holy One, On the hard days be our cup of tea and warm blanket comforting us and holding us close. On the easier days be the birdsongs and sunshine reminding us of joy and consistency. On the days in between, give us strength for the journey for whatever we may encounter today. Amen.
