I hope you will join me in this celebration and be reminded/inspired to do the hard thing. I know I will need this reminder again soon.
What is something that is hard for you to do? We all have our own thing that challenges us. Mine is asking for help. I will work and work and work because a task is mine to complete. I could ask for help, and too often, I do not. Join me in this moment of celebration. Recently at work, I asked for help. Even with trying so hard, I could not finish everything that needed to be done. So I did the thing that is so hard for me, I asked for help. And guess what? I was given help!
I wanted to share this because I know each one of us has something that is so hard for us to do. And I don’t know what yours is. I do know the peace I felt when this one time I did that hard thing. So I hope you will try it. Do that one thing that is so hard for you.
And knowing myself, it will probably be awhile before I ask for help I need again. So when that hard thing is too much for you, give yourself grace when you just can’t do it. And then try again.
God! We need some help here. We probably won’t ask for help because that it is too hard to admit we can’t do it all ourselves. Help us to do that one hard thing that is making our lives more challenging. Give us courage to just do it. And then, give us courage to do it again. And for those times we just can’t, grant us grace and peace, we pray. Amen.
This book was recommended to me by a friend. When I researched the book, I thought this would make a perfect gift for someone I know. So I ordered it and had it shipped to me. And guess what? I read it first. Next, I will give this gift as initially planned. So yes, if you get a book from me I probably read it first and maybe even the copy I am giving you.
I have read many articles and books on organizing and cleaning. None of them describes care tasks as “morally neutral”. In this book, we hear that our value and worth as a human being is not defined by how clean our house is or if we have completed our to do list. She shares that “you don’t exist to serve your space; your space exists to serve you” (9).
Now, none of that may appeal to you and maybe those words are just what you need to read. If these words aren’t for you, they may make you think of someone in your life who needs to hear them. This gentle book takes you slowly by the hand and reminds you that you deserve to feel safe and comfortable in your own space. This book begins by offering an opportunity to unpack some of the words you may have heard about cleaning and caring for your space. The suggestions offered are given with the utmost kindness and offered only as suggestions to try if they might work for you.
This book has short chapters and short cuts (the author encourages you to jump ahead if needed) and is made to read by anyone. If you have always hated cleaning and wondered why, this book is for you. If you feel like keeping your home and life organized is too much, this book is for you. If you want to look at your to do list differently, this book is for you. I highly recommend this book!
I try so hard to extend grace upon grace to others. I do not know what someone else is going through and want to offer kindness and compassion to all those I meet. Not easy and something I regularly find myself trying to do. You know what I am not good at? I struggle to extend a portion of this same grace to myself. I am trying to do better with myself and working on giving myself grace when needed. If any of this sounds familiar to you, join me in this prayer.
God of Goodness and Grace, You give us chances and opportunities and do overs and try agains and so many times to say whoops! You pick us up! You dust us off and you tell us to give it another go! Why is it so hard for us to extend that same grace to ourselves? Why is the must do list never ending? Why do I feel like I must keep working even though there is time off that could be taken? How can I accept grace for myself? How can I let go before everything is perfect and before everything is done? Help me, Loving God. Help me to see that I deserve grace. Remind me that I am your beloved child who is created in your own image. And when I treat others in that manner, it is necessary for me to treat myself with the same kindness. You know me God, and I will be back to pray this prayer again soon. Until then let your grace and mercy continue to rain down on us all. Amen.
I love the season of Advent. I love the preparations and anticipation. I love the slow walk toward what we know is coming. My hope for you this Advent season is that you may take opportunities to pause from the busyness of life to explore Advent.
Patient God, Advent is here. This season of waiting and preparing and expectation. Too often, we zoom ahead to what is next. Stop us right here, Loving God. Give us time to pause and be present. Remind us that this season is time for hope, peace, joy, and love. This world, your world O God, needs all of this today. So help us to look for hope, peace, joy, and love, and share what we see with others. When able, help us to be the hope others need. Send us your peaceful presence that we may be peacemakers. Light us up with joy, so we may spread joy in our communities. And fill us with your unconditional love, so we may let everyone know they are loved as well. Fill us up this Advent, so we may share the goodness of God with everyone this season. In the name of the one whose arrival we await, we pray. Amen.
Honestly, life hasn’t been a piece of cake lately. After some time away, my work load was extra challenging and busy this week. My time away included laughter and tears as we remembered my Mom and celebrated life together as a family. My regular to do list grows instead of shrinks. The news is filled with sadness. People seems angry all the time.
And then I found myself with time alone at the beach. I had a few hours with nothing to do except what I wanted. I walked the boardwalk. I window shopped. I bought myself a delicious tea beverage. And I felt myself relax. As I write this, there is a breeze blowing off the ocean, birds are chirping, and all seems a bit more right in the world.
I hope that if you are feeling worried or stressed or overwhelmed you might find your free morning at the beach (whatever that looks like for you). As a closing prayer, I leave you with these words from the coffee shop I visited today.
Take a deep breath and inhale positivity and exhale gratitude.What little things can you do for yourself or someone else? These things do mean a lot!Peace to you!
I am writing this while in vacation mode. This is what I call it when I am off my normal work/life routine. My alarm clock doesn’t force me to get up and go to the shower before I want to be awake. I let my amazing colleagues take care of my work while I do the same for them while they are off. The have to’s change to want to’s. Vacation mode is a good way to be.
In the challenging times in which we live, it is essential that we reset our routines when possible by spending time in vacation mode. You can staycation. You can get away. There are no rules about how you move into vacation mode. The most important thing is doing what you need to do to allow yourself a break.
Here is a prayer for when you are in vacation mode.
Loving God, you took time to rest and we need to do the same. Bless this time when we reset our routine by spending time in vacation mode. Slow our breathing. Ease our worries. Clear our minds. Open us to the joy in this day. Amen.
Here is what is on my mind today…enjoying a lazy river. Picture this with me. You get an inner tube, position yourself in a comfortable manner, and float. The water propels you onward, so no need to paddle or swim or consider where you are going because the water will move you. You might bump into someone else on this journey or you may bounce off a wall. The water may move you swiftly or slowly and whatever the speed that is the perfect speed because you have nowhere to be right now except where you are. I forget how much I enjoy this carefree easy float until I do it again.
A few weeks ago, we took our niece to a local, outdoor waterpark. I started with the lazy river. I love the relaxation I feel as I float. Not getting anywhere fast just floating.
Then I went down a water slide and felt my heart beat faster as I plunged toward the pool at the bottom of the slide. Not my favorite thing and still something to try out when one is at a waterpark.
And then I walked back to the lazy river. I floated round and round until my fingers were wrinkled and muscles had relaxed. On one pass around the river, I looked at my husband and saw him looking the most relaxed I have seen him in weeks or maybe months.
On the lazy river, you can look up at the clouds floating by or stare into the water or close your eyes because you are not steering anyway.
This isn’t a commercial to go to a waterpark. This is an encouragement for you to ponder what or where is your lazy river? What place or experience allows you to relax and unwind? And how can you schedule time to do that regularly enough to renew your spirit?
Creator of Sun and Rain, Water and Dry Land, and all that we know. We call on you now to help us renew our spirits. Inspire us to know how we might draw closer to you. Lead us to our lazy rivers where we might float away our worries and trust in you again. Bring us peace this day, we pray. Amen.
While this blog post is entitled “talking with children about death”, the information contained here can be used for any difficult topic that must be discussed with children.
Here are some important things to remember.
1)Answer the question that is being asked. No need to share too much information. Simply answer the question being asked in age-appropriate words and descriptions.
2)Be honest. If you don’t have an answer, say that. If this is hard for you to talk about, say that. Children want to know the truth as they are figuring out how to navigate this world.
3)Remain true to your beliefs. When answering questions about death, don’t tell your children things that don’t align with your belief system. If you are answering questions for someone else’s child, ask the child what they have been told by a guardian already to ensure that you are supporting the beliefs of the family.
4)Share your feelings. You do not need to share all your feelings with the children in your life when you are grieving (it is good to have other adults who you can turn to), however letting a child see you sad or crying or angry at death can help them know it is okay to have and express emotions.
In February, my Mom died. Her grandchildren were left with so many questions as she was such an important part of their lives. I am sharing some of the questions asked because they may help someone else tread these challenging times and it is healing for me to share these stories. And the questions whirling in the heads of children are often not the questions that adults wonder, so it can be helpful to read what other children have asked.
When my 6 year old nephew saw Mom’s cell phone was still sitting on her table beside her chair, he asked why Grandma didn’t take her cell phone to heaven? If only Grandma had taken her phone, we could still talk to her. We responded to this question by saying that we wished cell phones worked in heaven because we wanted to talk to her too. And when my 9 year old niece asked to send one final “I love you” text to Grandma’a phone, we let her knowing it was her way to enact an important ritual for a final time.
When we arrived to the funeral home for the visitation and saw Mom’s body in the casket, my nephew said, “Are we in heaven?” We responded that this was not heaven and it was the funeral home. He said if this isn’t heaven why is Grandma here? We responded that Grandma’s spirit was in heaven and this was our time to say goodbye to her. Then he asked if her legs had already gone to heaven because they were covered by the bottom half of the casket.
Recently, my Dad and nephew went to the cemetery to see where Mom is buried. My nephew said, “I miss Grandma. Do you?” Dad replied simply, “Yes, I miss her too.”
My final suggestion to you is be kind to yourself as you grieve and help those you love grieve. Grief is good, hard work. We grieve because we have loved and been in close relationships with others. Give yourself time to grieve, and when possible, be extra kind to those you know who are also grieving.
God of all the broken hearted, you see our tears. You feel our sadness. You know how we feel because you feel it too. On our grief journeys, strengthen us when the way ahead is too hard to go alone. When it is all too much, tell us to stop and rest and then try again. Remind us to be kind to ourselves and each other because we all feel the pain of deaths of loved ones. Hold our broken hearts in your compassionate hands, Faithful One. We pray this prayer in the name of Jesus whose own heart broke many times too. Amen.
My nephew and mother cuddled up together days before her death.
If we have anything in common, it might be that you have things you are holding onto that you no longer use or need. It is a continuous task on my to do list to keep sorting and passing on things that others might need more than me. If sentimental feelings are involved, it is harder for me to let go.
While at a former church, I supported an amazing group of women who started a prayer shawl ministry. They spent hours teaching me to knit. Hours and hours and hours. Despite their best efforts, this was not something at which I excelled.
My best Buddy was an amazing knitter. She helped me purchase the best yarns, knitting needles, and pattern books to support my attempts at knitting. My Mom loved to crochet and shared some of her extra items with me. Both of this talented women are no longer here with us and I know that holding onto these items will not bring them back. They would prefer that I shared them with someone who would use them. So, I looked through this big bin of goodies. I found a few random items that I am keeping and am sending the rest of it on to a new, good home along with a prayer of thanksgiving.
Holy One, We become attached to things especially when they remind us of loved ones. Help us to hold on to our memories. Help us to let go of the things we do not use. Help us to give freely and let go when needed. Bless the items we pass along and the people who receive them. And bless those of us (reluctantly or easily) sharing what we have. With a spirit of gratitude for everything and everyone, we say amen.
Again this year, I am attempting 1000 Hours Outside. It is a challenge. We are halfway through the year today, and I have 396.75 hours outside. I recognize that I am short of my halfway goal. I am sharing my progress to inspire others to do hard things even if you don’t meet your goal.
Celebrations- 1)I have spent time outside every single day this year. As someone who prides herself on “not leaving the house days”, this is a major accomplishment. 2)This challenge has inspired me to be more aware of time spent outside. I am making an extra effort to be outside for longer and do outside activities.
Challenges-1)This is hard! Averaging spending 2 hours and 45 minutes daily outside is hard. So hard! 2)The weather does not cooperate. It is hot, cold, and wet outside at times.
My plan is to keep on working on this major goal! Will I get to 1000 hours? Maybe. Maybe not. Will I keep going outside to work my way closer to my goal? Yes! What goal are you doing to keep on working on?
Go Outside!
God of Big Dreams, Hopes, and Plans, we all have goals we would like to reach, plans we would like to achieve and hopes leading us onward. Guide us. Strengthen us. Support us. When the way seems long, keep us moving along…one foot in front of the other. And when the end is far beyond our vision, inspire us to continue the journey. Journey ahead of us, O God, and we will follow. Amen.
