Holidays

A Prayer for All Saints’ Day

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Does everyone appreciate this holy day more as they age? I know I do. Today (or the Sunday closest) is a day set aside to remember that this generation of faith is not the first and will not be the last. We have learned from those who have gone before and we are to pass along what we know to be true.

On this All Saints’ Day, I invite you to join me in this prayer that combines some words from the hymns I Sing a Song of the Saints of God and For All the Saints. Pray with me as together we remember and give thanks!

For all the Saints who from their labors rest, we give thanks to you, Loving God, for each and every saint who has gone to be with you. We are thankful for those we knew and loved. We are thankful for those whose stories we heard even though we never met. We are thankful for those whose stories now only live in your memory.

We remember that one was a doctor and one was a queen and one was a prophet and one was a priest and one was slain by a fierce wild beast. And each of them was beloved by you, Faithful God. And the list of who they were to those who loved them is full of descriptions that made each one unique and is a reminder of how You created each one of us with gifts, hopes, and dreams.

Ringed by this cloud of witnesses divine, we feebly struggle, they in glory shine, yet in your love our faithful lives entwine. This is your hope for us, God, that we may feel connected to your children throughout the ages. When we sing this songs, we remember. When we speak their names, we remember. And when we remember, God, we are asking you to help us to be saints too. Amen.

https://hymnary.org/text/for_all_the_saints_who_from_their_labors

https://hymnary.org/text/i_sing_a_song_of_the_saints_of_god

A Benediction for Pentecost

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I love Pentecost. I love the joy when churches encourage people to wear the colors of flames and the sanctuary sparkles with reds, oranges, and yellows. I love that this celebration exists solely in the church-no Pentecost specials at the local restaurants or Pentecost gifts to buy. I love the faithful people who each year seek to be creative using doves, fire, language, and colors to celebrate this important day in the life of the church.

As we prepare to once again celebrate Pentecost, I share with you this benediction.

Beloved, go! Go out into this world filled with the Holy Spirit. Let the Spirit give you words when you have none. Let the Spirit stop your tongue when listening is the answer. Let the Spirit strengthen you when the way ahead is hard. Remember Jesus said he would not leave us alone and would send us a Comforter. Let the Spirit enfold you and comfort you and keep you until we are together again. Go in peace and bring the peace and fiery flames of Holy Spirit with you wherever you go. Amen.

Taize, France

What a Difference a Year Makes

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Last year I was at my parents’ home with the family celebrating Mom’s birthday. Here are a few pictures from that day.

We celebrated Mom well with her favorite people surrounding her with laughter and fun and quality time. At her request, her birthday cake was ice cream cake. It was a great day.

Fast forward one year to today. Mom isn’t here to celebrate with us. I feel less like celebrating today and instead decided to remember her by doing some of her favorite things. I began by reading in bed and didn’t change out of my pajamas (including the shirt Mom was wearing in these pictures) until after noon. I enjoyed a delicious bacon cheeseburger with lettuce and tomato. I spent a long time browsing through the bookstore and then bought books even though my bookshelves are full of good books to read. I took a walk at the park to get some fresh air (that one was for me more so then something I did with Mom). And we ended the night the same way we ended last year with ice cream cake.

I am back home in comfy pants wearing my “Just One More Chapter” shirt topped by my breast cancer sweatshirt. I am planning to read past my bedtime tonight to continue to honor my Mom. She is missed so much by her immediate family, her extended family, and her many friends.

I share my story as a reminder that many people are grieving this holiday season. So many are observing their first holiday (or 2nd or 10th) without a loved one. The holidays are a time of traditions. What happens when someone is no longer there to help with a tradition? How do we reimagine traditions? How do we give ourselves time and space to grieve the changes necessitated by the death of someone we love? I offer my story of today as one way to honor and remember a loved one who has died. It is one example of how to make a hard day a little easier. As you are navigating your own grief or helping someone who is grieving, be kind to yourself and each other.

Holiday Greetings

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Finding the right words to say is important to me. I spend much energy considering how you will receive the words I offer and how they will impact you. Our words matter. This is true is everyday. This is true at the holidays.

I don’t know everything you are going through. I can’t. Just like you can’t know everything that is running though my head and heart. So how do we share holiday greetings when we don’t know how our greetings will be received? We do the best we can with what we know.

I can’t give you all the answers on how to share greetings with others in the holiday season, and I don’t know how you will be feeling when you read these words. I leave you with this blessing that I hope will be meaningful to you today.

Christmas is here with the mix of emotions it brings. God is with us today whether we are sad, mad, glad, lonely, thankful, or whatever emotion we name to describe us today. And because God is with us your feelings are valid and valued. You can laugh and cry today. You can sing the songs of Christmas off key or turn off the music. You can observe this day in whatever way works for you this year. God is with us. God loves us. Amen.

An Advent Prayer

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I love the season of Advent. I love the preparations and anticipation. I love the slow walk toward what we know is coming. My hope for you this Advent season is that you may take opportunities to pause from the busyness of life to explore Advent.

Patient God, Advent is here. This season of waiting and preparing and expectation. Too often, we zoom ahead to what is next. Stop us right here, Loving God. Give us time to pause and be present. Remind us that this season is time for hope, peace, joy, and love. This world, your world O God, needs all of this today. So help us to look for hope, peace, joy, and love, and share what we see with others. When able, help us to be the hope others need. Send us your peaceful presence that we may be peacemakers. Light us up with joy, so we may spread joy in our communities. And fill us with your unconditional love, so we may let everyone know they are loved as well. Fill us up this Advent, so we may share the goodness of God with everyone this season. In the name of the one whose arrival we await, we pray. Amen.

All Saints’ Sunday-Special Edition for when you are remembering a loved one who has died this year.

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I have long loved the celebration of the saints in our churches. It is a Sunday when we remember that we are not the first and we will not be the last in this lineage of believers. This year I am wondering how to celebrate and honor this day when one of the saints who joined the church triumphant this year was my mother. All of the rituals I have done in the past years do not feel like enough to remember the one who carried me inside her for nine months and then carried me in her arms and held me in her heart from before my first breath until her last breath. How do I honor her memory on this day? As I reflected on this question, I was reminded that each of the saints I have honored over the years was someone’s beloved family member or friend or neighbor or parent or grandparent or sibling. The beauty of this day is we take time to remember and give thanks for lives lived as God’s beloved children. My mother would not want a big fanfare today (nor any day as fanfares were not her thing). So today, I will do as I do each time this holy day comes, I will light candles and remember those I love who are no longer here on earth. I will remember and give thanks.

Here is the prayer I will use as I name them today. Holy One, you know us by name and you call us your children. Today on this All Saints’ Day we remember and give thanks for __________ (name them by name and light a candle for your loved ones). We miss them. And they live on in us. We remember the lessons they taught us. We give thanks for hugs and meals shared. We know their love for you which we heard in their words and saw in their actions. We can see them cheering us on when we succeed and crying with us when the way is hard. We know they are with you. We know that for each of them pain and sorrow have ceased and they are at peace. Gracious God, be with us in whatever emotions this day brings. Today, we give thanks and we remember all of the saints who from their labors rest. As the saints lived in faith, we too will continue to follow you, Good Shepherd. Lead on. Amen.

My sister, my mother, and I on January 31, 2021.

A Prayer for Fall

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As we are midway through the month of October, it is the season of Fall in the Northern Hemisphere. Some days here it feels more like summer and other days those fall temperatures make me realize the cooler months are here. However you enjoy celebrating or observing this time of year, I hope you find meaning in this prayer for fall.

God of All Seasons, It is Fall. We see more pumpkins on porches and pumpkin flavored items are available everywhere. The temperatures may be changing as may our clothing choices. We may be gathering around fire pits with friends. Or, we may not have even had time to notice the change in season.

God of All Creation, help us to gain inspiration from nature this fall. Like the trees, help us to let go of that which is no longer life giving or helping us to grow. Like the grass, remind us it is okay to rest and renew for a season before coming back alive and well next year. Like the migrating birds, send us on journeys to familiar places where we can be safe until it is time to return home. Like the animals preparing for hibernation, give us good food to nourish us and some extra rest in the coming days. Like the squirrels scurrying around to collect nuts, may we gather only what we need so our needs are met and there is enough for others.

As we watch the leaves fall and feel the temperatures cool, let this be a time of possibility for what this season can be if we trust in you, Holy One. Amen.

Mother’s Day Without My Mom

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While 2020 was a hard year for so many reasons, it was also a year filled with time spent with my Mom. I saw her for her grandson’s birthday in January. In February, we flew to Florida to celebrate my Aunt and Uncle’s anniversary. COVID slowed down our time together until June when my family came to spend a week here at my house. Sadly while here, we learned that Mom’s cancer had returned. In July, my husband and I drove through the night to be with Mom when she decided to spend some time in the hospital…that stay went into August as I wouldn’t leave until Mom was back on her feet after daily treatments for an infection. I didn’t see her in September as things were going okay. Then in October we learned that her body could no longer handle the treatments. Despite COVID restrictions, the kind staff at the hospital let my Dad, sister, and I all be present with my Mom when we told her this news. She cried because her daughters were crying. And then she spent the rest of her days doing what she loved…spending time with her family. In November, my husband and I spent a week with Mom who was feeling good because she was done with treatment. We made her favorite foods, talked, played cards, and sorted through her book collection. In December, we wore matching pajamas on Christmas and made good memories. 2020 was a year spent with family despite the pandemic.

I had planned to go back in February to spend more quality time with Mom. As January was nearing its end, my sister called to update me on Mom’s decline. My husband and I got there as fast as we could for Mom’s last days. On February 2, 2021, my Mom died.

Today is a day to celebrate mothers. I support celebrating mothers. I wish I could celebrate with mine in person. I cannot. Instead I am spending this weekend remembering her and celebrating who she was/is to me. I am giving thanks for her life. Also, I am crying and laughing and missing her.

Mom and I in Florida in February 2020.

Recently I was introduced to the song Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran. This beautiful song about grief has been one of my companions this weekend. I love the way the song ends.

“Hallelujah
You were an angel in the shape of my mum
You got to see the person I have become
Spread your wings and I know
That when God took you back he said Hallelujah
You’re home”

I am finding comfort in these words because while I would have loved twenty more years with my Mom I am thankful for the 43 years I knew her. I am thankful she knew me through my childhood, my awkward teenage years when I told her she was the meanest mother in the world (she loved to remind me of this story), college and seminary, my first call to a church and ordination, my wedding, countless moves, job changes, and all of the good and bad times in my life. She was cheering me on and wanting the best for me every day. While I am thankful that she is free from pain and with God, my sadness and grief are too big for me to join in with a hallelujah because her death means my Mom isn’t here for me to talk with today. I am thankful that God’s love for me is big enough that I can express all that I am feeling and know that God loves me still.

I am sharing my story in the hopes that it helps someone else out there who needed to read this story of love and grief today. Embrace whatever you are feeling on this day and know that God loves you.

Mom and I at Camp Albemarle for the church retreat in May 2011.

Remembering…

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On this day 9 years ago, I said goodbye to my best friend. I mark this day each year by sharing her stories, being extra kind to others, and enjoying some fun food/beverages. This year will be no different.

Here are some important things to remember about grief.

-There is no timeline on grief. It is not weird or strange that nine years later I still observe this day. It is also not weird or strange if you do not remember the date of a loved one’s death. It is not weird or strange if you find yourself somewhere in between!

-There are many different ways to grieve. You can pick the ways you remember your loved ones who have died. I recommend not judging how others grieve, and not letting comments from others upset the way you are grieving.

-Grieving is hard work. Be kind to yourself on the hard grief days. Be aware of how you are feeling and the things/words that bring your emotions closer to the surface.

In memory of my buddy, Kristi, raise a glass of your favorite beverage and toast those you love near and far and drink in their honor and memory.

Dressed up and celebrating!

Taking Down the Christmas Tree

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In preparation for taking down the Christmas tree, I sat quietly near it the other night. I shut off all the other lights in the room. I had the whole room to myself. It was peaceful. The light of the tree was brighter than I expected it to be.

I sat and thought about the Christmas season that had just ended as well as other Christmases. The many trees that have lit homes where I have lived and homes that have welcomed me like family. I thought about trees bursting with ornaments and trees we hoped would make it to Christmas. I reflected on the beauty a Christmas tree shares.

When the tree is put away, it looks so empty for a few days and then we return to “normal life”. Knowing that no matter how hard I try this will happen again this year, I wanted to sit with wonder by the tree one last time.

God of Wonders, Increase our sense of wonder that we may be awed by you and your creation. So often we think of wonders as big things. Remind us to be amazed by the little, everyday things in our lives like a Christmas tree in a silent room. Open us today to the wonders around us calling our names. And help us to keep the spirit of Christmas in our hearts when the tree is gone. Amen.