Book Review-But I Don’t See You as Asian: Curating Conversations about Race
But I Don’t See You as Asian: Curating Conversations about Race Bruce Reyes-Chow
I was inspired to read this book because of conversations about race happening with my colleagues in the Young Clergy Women Project. I am glad I read this book and think it leads itself to being read with a group to inspire conversations about a topic that needs to be discussed. This book will not take you long to read. Putting into actions the suggestions in this book will require energy, time, trial and error, and space for forgiveness. It is good, hard work that we must do.
Here are some things I learned and found thought provoking-
While it may seem helpful to say something like “I don’t see you as Asian. I see you as a human being.” The intent behind a statement like this is we are all humans and I see you as one too. Statements like this can be hurtful because we may be overlooking someone’s “Asianness” (discounting a part of who they are). Instead Bruce asks us to “please do see that I am Asian and take the time to explore the nuances of that reality” (78-79).
Ask the question you want someone to answer. “If you would like to know someone’s ethnic background, ask them, “So, what’s your ethnic background?” and if you want to know their hometown, ask them, “So what is your hometown?” But please don’t ask, “Where are you from?” (85). The problem with asking where someone is from is that the answer may be here. The person you are asking may have been born here in this country and you may have assumed that he or she was born in another country simply because of her/his race. Where are you from has also been used as a way to say go back where you came from which is hard for someone who is from here.
In Chapter 7, “Don’t Be So Sensitive”, Bruce encourages us to stop saying this to each other. These conversations we are called to have are difficult. Emotions will come to the surface. It is okay to be sensitive and emotional. It is okay to listen to each other’s stories in whatever ways we are able to tell them.
What can we do? Although the author directs these comments at the generation younger than his, I think they can apply to any of us who want to engage this issue. “I hope young people will embrace the past and hold onto the hope that the United States can achieve even greater racial harmony. And second, as they nurture this hope into being, I implore them not to abdicate their responsibility to monitor and respond to the ongoing racial discrimination that is going on around us all” (113-114). [Read more…]