Author: SusannahDB

December is Here!

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Happy December! Amid all the joy that many are feeling in this holiday season, be aware of those among us who are feeling a variety of emotions. This is a reminder to be kind to yourself with whatever emotions pop up around the holidays.

Just recently a friend told me her primary mood lately has been melancholy. Another friend’s Mom is nearing the end of her life and receiving care with hospice. I am aware of my own grief that my Mom won’t be physically present with us as we gather as a family this year.

And I can tell you just as many stories filled with joy and excitement for people I know who are delighted this holiday season.

We, humans, are amazingly able to experience more than one emotion at a time. You might be crying and suddenly burst into laughter. A long forgotten photograph might inspire a variety of feelings. Cooking a family recipe might bring back memories of the last time you ate this food gathered around a table filled with family. Unpacking Christmas ornaments might remind you of the loved one on whose tree they used to hang.

As we flip the calendar to a new month (yes, I still have a paper calendar), let us be kind to ourselves and each other. This month may be your favorite and someone else may just be hoping to “make it through December”. You can love the holidays. You can dread the holidays. And you can do both at the same time.

Creating God, you sure did fill us with lots of emotions. And no other month brings those emotions to the surface as fast as December. So remind us to be kind to everyone this month, especially ourselves. When our feelings bubble up to the surface, may we have courage to let them out. And when our feelings linger just below the surface, give us patience with ourselves as we await the time we are ready to share how we are feeling. In joy and sorrow, you Loving God remains our constant companion. Amen.

8 Years Yesterday! Happy Anniversary Tea and Theology!

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It has been 8 years since I began writing here. Of course, so many things have changed in the last 8 years. I have moved from a time of sabbatical to youth ministry to full-time hospice chaplaincy. I have physically moved from the apartment where this blog was born to a lovely home and then a different lovely home. I think of the adventures, joy, and sorrow of the last eight years too. Thank you to the readers who quickly jumped on board and all the readers who have joined along the way. Thank you all for reading and being part of this journey.

It all began with these words-

“Welcome to my new blog.

Here you will find book reviews, worship words (liturgy), and recommendations for a good cup of tea. I hope you’ll find books you’d like to read. I hope you’ll find words that help you connect with God. And, I hope you’ll find a new tea to enjoy. I’m looking forward to walking this journey with you.”

So thank you all for reading, commenting, sharing, and growing with me these past eight years. Blessings to each of you and know I will give thanks for you when I have a cup of tea today.

Peace and Love, Susannah

A Prayer for All Saints’ Day

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Does everyone appreciate this holy day more as they age? I know I do. Today (or the Sunday closest) is a day set aside to remember that this generation of faith is not the first and will not be the last. We have learned from those who have gone before and we are to pass along what we know to be true.

On this All Saints’ Day, I invite you to join me in this prayer that combines some words from the hymns I Sing a Song of the Saints of God and For All the Saints. Pray with me as together we remember and give thanks!

For all the Saints who from their labors rest, we give thanks to you, Loving God, for each and every saint who has gone to be with you. We are thankful for those we knew and loved. We are thankful for those whose stories we heard even though we never met. We are thankful for those whose stories now only live in your memory.

We remember that one was a doctor and one was a queen and one was a prophet and one was a priest and one was slain by a fierce wild beast. And each of them was beloved by you, Faithful God. And the list of who they were to those who loved them is full of descriptions that made each one unique and is a reminder of how You created each one of us with gifts, hopes, and dreams.

Ringed by this cloud of witnesses divine, we feebly struggle, they in glory shine, yet in your love our faithful lives entwine. This is your hope for us, God, that we may feel connected to your children throughout the ages. When we sing this songs, we remember. When we speak their names, we remember. And when we remember, God, we are asking you to help us to be saints too. Amen.

https://hymnary.org/text/for_all_the_saints_who_from_their_labors

https://hymnary.org/text/i_sing_a_song_of_the_saints_of_god

You Need to Read The Remarkable Journey of Coyote Sunrise

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While the title of this blog post says it all, I will go on! What an amazing book full of unique and lovable people who all find themselves together on a school bus. Why are they on a school bus? Because this beloved school bus is where Coyote and Rodeo live. As they let others into the bus and into their lives, they are changed and they bring change to the lives of those they meet.

As this story unfolds, you learn that so much is hidden under the surface in each of their lives-just like every life! And you want a good ending for all of them, of course you do. I invite you to join Coyote and her companions on this journey of grief, second chances, friendships, learning from each other. This book reminded me, once again, how much we need each other. So please read this book and then encourage someone you know to read it!

The Remarkable Journey of Coyote Sunrise by Dan Gemeinhart

How Do You Know?

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I love to ask someone what they loved about their significant other in my work at hospice. It can be a great way to learn so much about both of them. I like to ask how they met and what is the secret to their years together. Sometimes I get an immediate answer. Sometimes they say I don’t know and promise to think more about it.

My spouse and I are away celebrating (belatedly) 15 years of marriage. Here is what happened today that answers that question for me.

My husband has wanted to do deep sea fishing for years. I mean years and years. He scheduled the two of us to go. The plan was to go and catch lots of fish and then eat them together in a delicious meal. Great plan! On this beautifully, warm day, we hit the open water. He reeled in a mahi-mahi. I reeled in a red snapper. And then I realized I was not made to do deep sea fishing. I promise no details except I was sick! And you know what, not one time was my spouse grumpy or upset that we had to return to land earlier than planned. Not one time! Instead he said you were out here for a long time and we caught fish!

So the next time someone asks me the secret to marriage, I will share this story. And say find someone who keeps on loving you even you puke all over their dreams.

1 Mahi-mahi and 18 Red Snapper!

A Morning Prayer

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Often I hear from hospice patients that they are thankful that God woke them up this morning. And I know this is one way of saying they are thankful for another day of life. I, too, am thankful for this day of living. I am not a morning person and find it difficult to be thankful for being woken up! I share with you a morning prayer that recognizes we have a variety of feelings about mornings.

God of Early Mornings and Late Mornings, We give you thanks for another day of life. No matter if we jump out of bed ready for another day or if we prefer to linger in our comfy spots as long as possible. Thank you for the people who can smile in the morning and the people who need a little help from a shower or caffeine to bring about a smile in the AM.

You have given us this day. Let us find joy in this day. You have given us this day. Help us to share love this day. You have given us this day. Keep us mindful of the opportunities this day presents to us.

God, you have woken us up for another day of life. Be with all of us this day as we prepare for whatever we may encounter. Send us forth in peace. Amen.

Some of us just want to sleep a little longer!

Book Review-How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis

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This book was recommended to me by a friend. When I researched the book, I thought this would make a perfect gift for someone I know. So I ordered it and had it shipped to me. And guess what? I read it first. Next, I will give this gift as initially planned. So yes, if you get a book from me I probably read it first and maybe even the copy I am giving you.

I have read many articles and books on organizing and cleaning. None of them describes care tasks as “morally neutral”. In this book, we hear that our value and worth as a human being is not defined by how clean our house is or if we have completed our to do list. She shares that “you don’t exist to serve your space; your space exists to serve you” (9).

Now, none of that may appeal to you and maybe those words are just what you need to read. If these words aren’t for you, they may make you think of someone in your life who needs to hear them. This gentle book takes you slowly by the hand and reminds you that you deserve to feel safe and comfortable in your own space. This book begins by offering an opportunity to unpack some of the words you may have heard about cleaning and caring for your space. The suggestions offered are given with the utmost kindness and offered only as suggestions to try if they might work for you.

This book has short chapters and short cuts (the author encourages you to jump ahead if needed) and is made to read by anyone. If you have always hated cleaning and wondered why, this book is for you. If you feel like keeping your home and life organized is too much, this book is for you. If you want to look at your to do list differently, this book is for you. I highly recommend this book!

A Prayer of Grace for Myself

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I try so hard to extend grace upon grace to others. I do not know what someone else is going through and want to offer kindness and compassion to all those I meet. Not easy and something I regularly find myself trying to do. You know what I am not good at? I struggle to extend a portion of this same grace to myself. I am trying to do better with myself and working on giving myself grace when needed. If any of this sounds familiar to you, join me in this prayer.

God of Goodness and Grace, You give us chances and opportunities and do overs and try agains and so many times to say whoops! You pick us up! You dust us off and you tell us to give it another go! Why is it so hard for us to extend that same grace to ourselves? Why is the must do list never ending? Why do I feel like I must keep working even though there is time off that could be taken? How can I accept grace for myself? How can I let go before everything is perfect and before everything is done? Help me, Loving God. Help me to see that I deserve grace. Remind me that I am your beloved child who is created in your own image. And when I treat others in that manner, it is necessary for me to treat myself with the same kindness. You know me God, and I will be back to pray this prayer again soon. Until then let your grace and mercy continue to rain down on us all. Amen.

Grief is Surprising (Remembering Kristi)

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I remember when my buddy, Kristi, died. The grief was overwhelming. I cried and cried. Everywhere I turned something reminded me of her. I found ways to honor her memory including hanging up our picture and my husband making me a bench in the backyard so I could sit in nature and remember our stories.

Ten years have passed since her death. It doesn’t seem possible, and yet, it is. The memories still come and sometimes the tears too. What I feel now is often a sadness that for the things/people she didn’t get to meet that are important in my life and for our adventures not taken.

Yesterday as I was driving, I heard a song that made me smile. Kenny Chesney’s Happy on the Hey Now. He sings about a friend who died and his memories of this person. And then I heard him call her Kristi. And I thought I was imagining it. So I kept listening and turned it up. I heard Kristi again and again. When I was done driving, I looked it up and saw that the song is called Happy on the Hey Now (A Song for Kristi).

As I was listening to this song, I was smiling. I didn’t tear up although the next time I hear it I might. It isn’t the song I would have written for my Buddy, and I could still see her in this song too. The Kristi in the song loves to dance as did my dear friend. She lived her life in the moment which is something Kristi pushed me to do too.

“I hope time can be our healer, maybe time can be a friend. Still I’m a strong believer, someday we’ll see you again.”

For those of you grieving, my hope for you is moments like this where a good memory surprises you. You picture your loved one doing something they loved to do. You embrace whatever emotions come. And the grieving that was overwhelming is much less so. You love and miss your loved one and always will. And they live on in you and in all those who love them and keep their memories alive.

Or as Kenny sings, “And you will live with us as long as memories stay alive. And you left us with so many, Kristi, you will never die.”

The day before my wedding. You might guess that Kristi danced and danced the next day.

Camp Safe Harbor (Our Pediatric Bereavement Camp)

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Each Summer the hospice where I work partners with the local university’s school of social work to host a camp for children who had a loved one die in the last year. It is wonderfully life changing and exhausting week. Due to COVID, our last two camps have not happened. I am so delighted to share that we had camp last week for the first time since 2019!

Obviously, I will not be sharing any stories about the campers because we promise to hold their stories in confidence. What I would like to share is the importance of this week to me.

Camp week is my chance to focus on children and families again. I love working with children and their families. At this time, my calling is leading me to hospice where I don’t get to spend too much time with children. During camp week, it is kids all the time. Which reminds me how much energy is needed to work with children and how amazing they are all at the same time.

Camp week is a break from the normal routines of work. During this week my fabulous colleagues care for any patient needs that arise for the patients in my care. My whole focus is camp. This one week’s change in focus gives me a break from routine and reinvigorates me to return to my routine again.

Camp week is a reminder that play is necessary in life. When we play volleyball with blankets and water balloons, I laugh at the challenge and cheer when we succeed in working as a team. Drawing with sidewalk chalk is a reminder that we all need time to be creative. Singing silly songs and playing bonding games is a chance to play and have fun.

During Camp Week, I get to see the gifts of my colleagues in action as we work together toward a common goal. In my regular work, I work as a team however we are not often in the same physical space at the same time. For camp week, we work side by side seeing and hearing how well we do our jobs. It is an opportunity to be reminded in person how amazing my colleagues are and how dedicated they are to this work.

As I reflect on the joys and struggles of last week, I am grateful for everything. I look forward to the opportunity to do it again and am thankful it won’t be for another year. My hope for you, dear reader, is that there are opportunities like this in your life where you are stretched and challenged to open you up to growth and a change in perspective.

I ended the week by privately praying for each child in my care as well as each adult. It was a time to ask God’s blessing on each of us and say goodbye. This personal closing ritual helped me not to hold on to everyone and instead to let them go. It gave me permission to return to my regular work with the assurance that God would continue to care for each of us and my work here was done. I encourage you to pray a private blessing when your work is done as a reminder to yourself to break from what you were doing and move on to caring for yourself for this time. Peace to you all today.