Author: SusannahDB

 

Safe Sanctuaries: Reducing the Risk of Abuse in the Church for Children and Youth

Joy Thornburg Melton

Emotional Response-3

Scholarly Response-3

This is the most often recommended book for congregations writing Safe Sanctuary policies. I’ve led groups in writing policies at previous churches and developed a workshop to help with writing, training, and updating Safe Sanctuary policies in congregations. You will notice that this book repeats itself with only minor changes. That is because this is the combined children and youth edition. This book also exists for only children’s ministry and only youth ministry.

The author is an attorney and United Methodist minister. At many points her denominational basis shows as she talks about babies being baptized (7) when not all denominations baptize infants and not all parents choose to have their children baptized as infants and examples and explanations used are about the United Methodist Church.

I believe that Safe Sanctuary policies should begin with what to do. Training should also begin with the positive parts of the plan. The point of Safe Sanctuary policies is not to scare people. We can do our best to keep each other safe without living in fear.

I would recommend this book for a church that needs all information in one place and easily accessible. For churches that are willing to use a variety of resources, there are better options available that have good examples and better policy recommendations. I have also created a workshop to help others write a policy and would be happy to talk with anyone needing help with their policy.

 

Ideas and Reminders I Found Helpful–

-Giving volunteer forms and Safe Sanctuary policy to all new members. I like this idea because everyone needs to know the policy. In order for the church to be a Safe Sanctuary, everyone in the congregation must know and live by the covenant.

-List of types of abuse starts on page 29  and what to be watching for starts on page 37. Very helpful for training.

-Advertise your policy. Parents expect one.

-Talk about what to do is a sex offender wants to worship here before it a question being asked. A good resource for this difficult situation is found on pages 112-116.

 

Ideas I Found Difficult or Less than Helpful–

I believe that all Safe Sanctuary policies should begin by outlining what to do. Don’t start with the negative or what to do if/when something happens. Start with what people are expected to do. And in this first section use covenantal language to talk about why this is of sacred importance to us. Starting with the negative or what to do in case of an incident places the focus on the wrong spot. We are called by God to live in relationship with each other. A good Safe Sanctuary policy begins by outlining how that relationship works in this particular case. Section two of the policy can define what to do if that relationship covenant is broken.

Some of the examples presented were very upsetting to me. On pages 13-15, there is a story of a child who pretends to be abused so his father can record the incident and make money for the family. The church had a Safe Sanctuary policy, so the teacher took the father to meet with the pastor. The pastor said, “I know these teachers and I have complete trust in them” (14). I was shocked by the response of the pastor. As a pastor, I would never say this. I trust those who have been entrusted with the sacred duty of teaching children and youth. I would never say I have complete trust in them. I would want to hear as many sides of the story as possible to find out what had happened. Another example that made me sad was the pastor’s response to the single mom who had her child baptized (28). Neither she nor her child should be treated any differently during the baptism. Instead of admonishing the congregation to care even more for this child, the pastor should remind the congregation at each baptism of the sacred covenant being entered into during a baptism.

I would have prefered more examples of how to respond to questions about background checks. This was the most frequent question asked in my churches. Why do we need background check? Who will see my information? How will my information be stored? More examples about how other churches have answered all these questions would be helpful.

“No Workers under the Age of Eighteen” (87) – While I understand the idea, it saddens me to think that people must wait until they are 18 to share their gifts. If multiple people are present, it should not be a problem to allow children and youth to work with each other.

More detailed citations would have been very helpful. When statistics are quoted, it would be helpful to know from when and where they were sourced.  

 

My Baptism Book Sophie Piper and Dubravka Kolanovic

I love baptisms. I love baptizing someone and watching the water drip down their forehead and sometimes their face. I love seeing someone be baptized and saying the baptismal promises out loud with all those witnessing the baptism. I love seeing pictures of people’s baptisms.

Four years ago, I was watched as my Dad baptized my niece, Ella Marie. I participated in her baptism by making promises as one of her godmothers. It is a very special memory for me. One of the gifts we gave her is her own copy of My Baptism Book. This is my favorite baptism gift. On these pages you’ll find Scripture readings in kid-friendly language, prayers and wise words from our ancestors in the faith and wise people of today. You’ll see beautiful artwork. You’ll read many names for God. Whatever your age, this book will remind you that you are a beloved child of God. I highly recommend this book as a gift for others and a gift for yourself.

A Song to Sing, A Life to Live: Reflections on Music as Spiritual Practice

Don Saliers and Emily Saliers

Emotional Response-4

Scholarly Response-3

I purchased this book years ago at the recommendation of a dear friend. She knew I love the Indigo Girls and thought I’d enjoy a book co-written by one of them. She was correct. This book seeks to break down the barriers between Saturday night (secular) music and Sunday morning (sacred) music. Emily represents the Saturday night side and Don (her father) represents the Sunday morning side because he is an organist, choirmaster, and professor of theology and worship. While it might seem that their musical styles are at odds, there are so many intersections and places of harmony found in their shared love of music. I enjoyed this book because I love music, and I strongly believe we need to break down the barriers between what is sacred and what is secular. Because God is everywhere and working in us all, everything can be sacred and everyone is a beloved child of God.

In this book, they tackle the difficult issue of music in churches. Their answer to the music wars (happening still in too many churches) is to listen to each other and be open to what you might hear in music you don’t yet appreciate.

Chapter 7, “Singing Our Sorrows” was my favorite chapter. Using music when one is grieving is a way to express one’s feelings when words often fail. I recommend the practice of planning one’s own funeral. Also, I recommend family members doing, saying, and singing what is meaningful to them when a loved one has died. A gift to me was hearing the backstory on songs I love. In this chapter, Emily talked about writing “She’s Saving Me” after her sister died. Without knowing this story, I have found this song comforting while grieving the death of a friend (and fellow Indigo Girls fan).

As I read this book, I was reminded of how music speaks to me and reminds me of times, places, and people I love. I must admit that I resonated with the songs they shared. I loved that I knew the hymns they mentioned and the Indigo Girls songs shared. For me, all of these songs are part of the songs of my life. Because so many of the songs were familiar, I may have enjoyed the book more than others might.

I recommend this book to anyone who likes to think deeply about music. I recommend this book to everyone who loves the Indigo Girls. I recommend this book to anyone who sees a divide between sacred music and secular music. This book will challenge that view.

Who are they writing for? “This book is for anyone who once took piano lessons and wishes now they hadn’t quit. It is for those who sing with their communities of faith but who are confused by secular music, and it is for those outside faith communities who wonder whether there is anything true in the songs of organized faith traditions. It is also for anyone who has sung around a campfire, tried to play the French horn, or been captivated by African or Asian drumming. This book is our yes to your musical memories and to your musical future. We offer it as an invitation to embrace a broader, deeper vision of the power and role of music in human life–and especially to embrace the spiritual and religious dimensions of attentive listening, collaborative music making, and honest thinking” (xvi).

“Music, we keep saying, is some kind of mysterious mediator between us and the God we seek” (5).
“Even some who have read the Bible all their lives are surprised to learn that there are more psalms of lament than any other kind of psalms, including those that offer thanks and praise to God. Perhaps we aren’t ready to notice them before we need them. The psalms of lament seem to lie in wait for us, ready to provide language when we are visited by pain and suffering” (125).

If this inspired you to check out the Indigo Girls, here is their song, “She’s Saving Me“.

Today’s photo was taken in the Main Reading Room of the Library of Congress. I enjoy reading in beautiful places like this. I highly recommend visiting the Library of Congress and its Main Reading Room the next time you are in DC. Visiting the library is free and available to anyone. It is free to visit the reading rooms after you obtain a reader identification card.