SusannahDB

A Reflection on Wedding Month

October 16, 2015 by SusannahDB 2 Comments

This month I have the privilege of officiating two weddings. It is a joy to have a part in these special days and as I was preparing for their services I decided to reread my wedding service. Reading these words reminds me of all the people who came to support us as we entered into this covenant. Also, it reminds me (after more than 8 years of marriage) of the many people in my life who have only known me as married.

I am unable to give credit to those who wrote some of these words. I know they were picked and pulled from a variety of sources, written by us, and written by our officiant, the always amazing, Rev. Kristi Foster.

In the spirit of wedding month, I share these special words with you.

Prelude

Selected music

The two mothers will be escorted into the church and brought forward to each light one of the candles, representing each of their children.

Entrance

Richard and his attendants will walk onto the altar with Pastor Kristi. After the attendants are in place, the bridesmaids will process down the aisle: Elizabeth, Heather, Julie, Becky. Then the music will change and Susannah will process down the aisle. After taking her place, Susannah will hand her bouquet to Becky and she and Richard will face each other and join hands.

Welcome

I greet you in the name of Christ. My friends, we have come together from many places on this day, to join together the love of Richard and Susannah in the celebration of marriage. We witness, by our joy, that the happiness these two find in one another is unique. And yet, it is no more than the happiness which all people might find. For life is a dance, and marriage is the choosing of eternal partners for that dance. We are here, above all, to worship God—creator of both the dance and the dancers. We rejoice that God brings God’s people together as one in the Spirit. Love has brought them together, and so it will keep them together.

Opening Prayer

O Loving God, out of this complex world you have drawn together these two persons, and are binding them in love. As we contemplate these moments of worship with them, may we approach its mystery in reverence, its goodness with rejoicing, its meaning with celebration, and its holiness with respect. We thank you for the homes in which Susannah and Richard have been cared for. We thank you for the parents who have sacrificed on their behalf, and for families and friends who have loved them. Lord, we ask your blessing on these two partners, as they affirm the choice they have made of each other as life’s mate. Give them a seriousness of purpose, that they will be delivered from empty words and casual commitments. Increase their faith and love all the days of their lives. Through Jesus Christ. Amen.

Declarations of Intent

Recognizing that marriage is not the end of two people and the formation of one, but the joining of two individuals who, while they become one with another, are still one from another, I call on you both now, in the presence of God, and your families and friends, to give expression to the commitment which was long ago formed between you.

Susannah, will you have Richard to be your wedded husband and live together in one love? Will you honor and comfort him, share his joy and his sorrow, always endeavoring to understand his needs and will you cherish his love forever? If so, please say, “I will.”

Susannah: I will.

Richard, will you have Susannah as your wife and will you promise to love her always, not through duty or obligation, but through integrity, respect, and faithful consideration? And do you promise to live, and especially to work, with her, in order to share and spread you love throughout your lives? If so, please say, “I will.”

Richard: I will

Family and Friends Support Time (From Kristi)

Pledge of Support

Will the families of Susannah and Richard please stand in support of this couple?

Do each of you offer your prayerful blessing and loving support to this marriage? If so, please say, “I do.” I do

Please join me in prayer. God of our mothers and of our fathers, hear our pledges encouraging and supporting this union of Richard and Susannah. Bless us as we offer our prayerful and loving support to their marriage. Bless them as they pledge their lives to each other. With faith in you and in each other, may this couple always bear witness to the reality of the love to which we witness this day. May their love continue to grow, and may it be a true reflection of your love for us all. AMEN

Readings:

From the Non-Canonical Gospel of Philip:

Every plant my Father in Heaven does not plant will be rooted out. Those who are alienated will be united. They will be filled. Everyone will join in lighting the light of the Bridal Chamber. For the light shines in the marriages which are seen. The fire burns in the night, then it is extinguished. But the mysteries of this marriage are fulfilled in the day and the light. That day and its light do not set.

Ruth 1: 16-17

But Ruth said, “Do not press me to leave you

or to turn back from following you!

Where you go, I will go;

Where you lodge, I will lodge;

your people shall be my people,

and your God my God.

Where you die, I will die–

there will I be buried.

May the Lord do thus and so to me,

and more as well,

if even death parts me from you!”

Sermon

The Lord’s Prayer

Susannah and Richard, please kneel together for our prayer. Richard and Susannah invite all those present now to join in the prayer common to our faith, using those words which are most comfortable to you.

Our Father, which art in heaven. . .

Charges

Kristi to couple while they are kneeling:

I charge you Richard and Susannah, with the responsibility to keep alive: to grow, to change, to maintain the capacity for wonder, for spontaneity, for humor. To remain pliable, warm and sensitive. I charge you to give fully, to show your real feelings, and to save time for each other, no matter what demands are made upon your day. I charge you to see the meaning of life through the changing prism of your love. To nurture each other to fullness and wholeness, and in learning to love each other more deeply, learn to love the creation in which the mystery of your love has happened. And, above all, I charge you to keep God in your marriage. Not as an uninvited houseguest, but as an indwelling part of your relationship.

I invite the parents of Susannah and Richard to come forward for the charge.

Parents to couple:

Susannah and Richard: nothing is easier than saying words, and nothing harder than living them day by day. What you promise today must be renewed and rededicated tomorrow. At the end of this ceremony, legally you will be husband and wife. But you must still decide, each day that stretches out before you, that you want to be married. Getting married is really quite easy. Staying married is a life-long task. Real love is something beyond the warmth and glow and the excitement and romance of being deeply in love. It is caring as much about the welfare and happiness of your marriage partner, as about your own. But real love is not total absorption in each other. It is looking outward in the same direction together. Love makes burdens lighter, because you divide them. It makes joys more intense, because you share them. It makes you stronger, so you can reach out and became involved in life, in ways you dared not risk alone.

Vows

Richard and Susannah: I invite you to stand now and repeat your vows to one another in the presence of those who are assembled to witness your covenant.

Richard, turn to Susannah, take her hands and repeat after me:

I, Richard,

take you Susannah,

to be my wife.

And I promise

I will be faithful to you,

and at all times loving.

Whether in joy or sorrow.

I will share with you

and believe in you.

I will cherish you forever.

I give you my hand

and my love.

Susannah, repeat after me:

Richard,

I take you

to be my husband.

And these things

I promise you:

I will be faithful to you

and honest with you.

I will respect, trust,

help and care for you.

I will share my life with you.

I will forgive you,

as we have been forgiven.

And with you

I will try to better understand ourselves,

the world, and God.

Through the best and worst

of what is to come,

as long as we live.

Exchange of Rings Get rings from best man, groom, etc.

These rings, when placed on the other’s finger becomes a symbol of your pledge to one another, and to all of us here, that you are going to encircle each other with your love, your care, and your protection. You pledge that whatever happens you can depend on each other. We do not expect you to know all that this means now. But we do expect that you are pledging your will, so that whatever turns there are in the road ahead, we may depend on your being there, one for the other, supporting each other with your very lives.

Richard, place this ring on Susannah’s finger and repeat after me:

Susannah,

I give you this ring,

as a symbol of my vow,

and with all that I am,

and all that I have,

I honor you.

Susannah, place this ring on Richard’s finger and repeat after me:

Richard,

I give you this ring,

as a symbol of my vow,

and with all that I am,

and all that I have,

I honor you.

Lighting of the Unity Candle

At this time, I invite Susannah and Richard to join together in lighting the unity candle. They asked their mothers to light each of their individual candles. These lights, which represent the faith, wisdom, and love they have received from their parents, are distinct, each burning alone. As Richard and Susannah light the center candle together, they join their two lives to make one life together.

Richard and Susannah, As this one light burns undivided, so shall your love be one. From now on, your thoughts shall be for one another, not just for yourselves. Your joys and your sorrows are no longer yours alone, but are shared. Keep the radiance of this candle in your hearts always, as a symbol of your commitment to the unity of your life together. I invite you to take this candle with you at the conclusion of this service and light it often, as a reminder of this day and the promises you have made to each other.

May the blessing of light,

Be with you always,

Light without and light within.

And may the sun shine

Upon you and warm your heart

Until it glows

Like a great fire

So that others may feel

The warmth of your love

For one another.

The Pronouncements

In the presence of these witnesses you have spoken the words and performed the rites that unite your lives. Richard and Susannah, you are now husband and wife in the sight of God, your family and friends, and your community.

You may now seal your covenant with a kiss.

Benediction

Lord, hear us for a quiet moment as each of us contemplates what we are celebrating right now. Keep Richard and Susannah faithful to each other and to you. Fill them with such love and joy that they may build a home where no one is a stranger. And guide them by your word, to serve you all the days of their lives. Go in peace, as two, yet one. May your unity last through the trials and triumphs that lie ahead. So that at the end, you may feel just as you do now: very happy to be in love and to be married. Go, then, in peace. Amen.

Worship Words-We Are Forgiven

October 13, 2015 by SusannahDB Leave a Comment

On Sunday, the Cooperative Youth Ministry will be talking about and practicing forgiveness. Since forgiveness is on my mind today, I wrote this prayer of confession. Whenever I write a prayer of confession, it is always a joy to write the assurance. This is the time in the service when you get to showcase God’s amazing mercy and forgiveness. May we all forgive as extravagantly as we have been forgiven.

Loving God, We seek forgiveness from you, from each other, and from ourselves. Our sins may be different. What unites us is our honest declaration that we have sinned as individuals and as a congregation. We come together as a community to confess our sins and seek forgiveness and reconciliation. Hear now our silent prayers of confession.

Friends in Christ, Hear this good news. God hears our prayers. God forgives us. Now our work is to forgive ourselves and each other and strive to be a reconciling community of faith. Amen.

Book Review-Psalms for Young Children

October 9, 2015 by SusannahDB Leave a Comment

Psalms for Young Children

Marie-Helene Delval

Illustrated by Arno

I love how this book features child-friendly language and beautiful, diverse illustrations of God’s children from around the world. When I am preaching on a psalm, I turn to this book to see if that psalm is featured in these pages, and when it is I am delighted. The writers of the psalms articulated so many emotions, and they are present in this book in the words and illustrations.

My only criticism of this book is that the only pronoun used for God in this book is he. Because the psalms use such diverse language for God, this is only a problem in 10 of the psalms in this book. I raise this as a caution if this is a concern for you.

I highly recommend this book for children as a way to introduce them to the psalms and help them see that the psalms are applicable to their lives. Also, I recommend adults get a copy of this book to enjoy for themeselves.

A New Tea Set

October 7, 2015 by SusannahDB 4 Comments

As you know, I like tea. You may not know my Mom loves garage sales. I remember having garage sales with my family and searching for treasurers at others’ sales with my Mom and our amazing neighbor, Helen. Back then, we’d check the newspaper for the garage sale listing before setting out on our journey. You never knew what you might find that someone no longer wanted. I have acquired many books (and other treasures) over the years from garage sales. And I still enjoy stopping at yard sale today.

So what happens when you combine a Mom who loves garage sales and a daughter who loves tea? A new-to-me tea set. My Mom would want you to know she got it for the bargain price of $1.50. (Getting a good deal is an essential part of going garage saling).

I’m looking forward to trying out this new-to-me tea set after it makes its journey from Illinois to Maryland. When I do, I’ll think of my Mom and how she shared her love of garage saling with me. I know I will get her money’s worth out of this garage sale treasure.

Worship Words-A Prayer for When You are Feeling Overwhelmed

October 5, 2015 by SusannahDB Leave a Comment

God,

How do you do it? How do you keep everyone accounted for? How do you love us all? How do you find time to rest and renew too?

Some days, there is too much to do. The to do list gets longer and longer. (Feel free to insert the list of things that are currently overwhelming you). There seems to be no end in sight.

How can I possibly find time for Sabbath? If God the Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer of the World takes Sabbath, who am I that I don’t need Sabbath?

So, I will try God! I will put down my to do list, cell phone, all that distracts me from you and I will just be. Amen.

Book Review-Blessed are the Crazy

October 2, 2015 by SusannahDB Leave a Comment

Blessed are the Crazy: Breaking the Silence about Mental Illness, Family, and Church

Sarah Griffith Lund

Emotional Response-4

Scholarly Response-3

This is an honest and brave book. It is the author’s testimony. In her story, I saw the reality of mental illness. I saw how the church failed and fails to talk about it, to support the ones who live with it, and to welcome mental health consumers and their families as they are into the body of Christ. This isn’t an easy story to read because it is so real and heartbreaking. And in the midst of the struggles, I saw hope and possibility and community shining through.

I don’t want to tell you too much about this book because her words are so powerful and unlike many other books I review this is a story and I do not like it when people ruin the story. In Chapter 6, she shares her hope for how the church can change. She encourages us to tell our stories and to listen to others’ stories. She asks us to care for caregivers. And she recommends we all pray for ourselves, for each other, for an easing of the pain and stigma of mental illness.

For me, this book is a challenge to the church to do better and to be better. I recommend we all read this story. I recommend we open our churches to support God’s children who have mental illness. I recommend we open our churches as places of hope, support, and comfort for those whose loved ones have a mental illness. For too long, the church has not talked about this and I thank Sarah Griffith Lund for changing that. You can change it to by reading this book and utilizing the resources she mentions.

“Church taught me a lot about a loving God, but not how to tell my own story about love, or the lack of it. My Sunday school teachers wanted me to learn about God’s love for the world and that this love sent Jesus to save us. But no one in Sunday school ever asked me what I needed saving from in my own life. Bible truths would magically set us free from sin. Yet there was no place for us to name, in our own words, the sin in our lives, the sinfulness of our families, or the sinfulness of our world” (7).

“If we believe that God knits us together in our mother’s womb, do we therefore believe that God knits crazy into our being? If God is in all places and is present in all times, is God also in mental illness? If we are made in God’s image, then is God crazy too?” (37).

“The gift of prayer is that over time it can transform worry into something else. Spiritual transformation doesn’t happen immediately, like creating light by striking a match. It is the day-by-day, hour-by-hour practice of lifting our worries up in prayer that brings change. By taking our worries to God in prayer, we can free our minds” (52).
“As a Christian I want so badly to believe that God has the power to save us. But what life has taught me is that God cannot save us from situations where we choose to give fear and hatred power, and, in so doing, choose other gods. When we choose the God of love, whose very nature is to reconcile all things, then we have a real shot at saving the world through Christ. Salvation means wholeness and it comes through relationships, not through individual piety” (70).

Worship Words-A Prayer for Beginnings, Endings, and All the Times in Between

September 28, 2015 by SusannahDB 5 Comments

One year ago, I was saying good-bye to the people with whom I had prayed, laughed, cried, grieved, grown, learned, eaten, worshiped, meetinged, retreated, camped, sang, holidayed, and worked for seven years. Seven years is a long time in ministry. New babies were born who were in elementary school by the time I left. Young children had entered the youth program. Those who started the youth program with me had moved onto college. Relationships changed as some people met and fell in love. Some people married and some people divorced. Some people who loved the church died and we grieved together and we remember them. Wonderful new people joined the church in those seven years. And some people left too. So much happened in those seven years.

Today, I’m preparing for a beginning. Starting on October 1, I will be the Director of Cooperative Youth Ministry at Christ Congregational Church (UCC) and Takoma Park Presbyterian Church (PCUSA). I’m looking forward to this new opportunity and the many possibilities ahead. I’m excited to focus my energy on youth! I’m ready to plan mission trips, Sunday night gatherings, retreats, and so much more.

Whenever I think of endings and beginning this quote from Hope Floats also comes to mind. “Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will, too…”

I know that most of life is the ordinary or in between time, and yet today I’m thinking about how both endings and beginnings are an important part of our journey too.

Let us pray-

God of beginnings, endings, and all the times in between, I wonder what you were thinking as you created all that we know. Beginning are scary and exciting because a big blank space of possibility is before us. In moments of beginning, remind us we are your beloved and even if we fail you love us still.

Faithful God, Endings are hard. It hurts to say good-bye to those we love. We grieve endings. Let us grieve, Loving God, for some endings are forever and others were necessary. In moments of ending, remind us we are your beloved and even as our hearts break you love us still.

Eternal God, Much of our lives are the times in between-going to school or work or having nowhere to go, wondering what to eat for our next meal, paying bills, doing homework…In the midst of the ordinary, open our eyes to the extraordinary gift of life. Let us hear laughter and stories. Let us see smiles and tears. Let us smell bread breaking and flowers blooming. Let us taste foods that delight us. Let us feel love from you and all those we love. In the times between, remind us we are your beloved and everyday has the possibility of beginnings, endings, and ordinary times. Amen.

Book Review-Daring Greatly

September 25, 2015 by SusannahDB Leave a Comment

Daring Greatly Brene’ Brown

Emotional Response-4

Scholarly Response-4

I’ve never read anything by Brene’ Brown before and with all the excitement over her new book now seemed like a good time to dive into her work. Some good friends in The Young Clergy Women Project suggested I start with this book, so I did. I knew I would like this book as soon as I read, “Connection is why we’re here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering” (8). In my ministry I’ve been saying this for years in slightly different terms. We were created to be in relationship. Ministry is all about relationships. Church is all about relationships.

A number of words and phrases reappear through the book that describe how Brene’ encourages people to live. One of these words is wholehearted. “Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness” (10). Wholehearted living is the point of one of her earlier books, The Gift of Imperfection. And wholehearted living is exactly how we should live as beloved children of God. God loves us. I don’t use the word worthy very often in my ministry. She uses it to describe that we are enough. Instead of berating ourselves and what we can’t do, we need to focus on living wholeheartedly as those who are enough just as we were created.

Another topic that she addresses in this book is scarcity. We live in a world where there seems to be never enough. Time is scarce. Money is scarce. Safety is scarce. I’ve tried to replace scarcity with abundance as one who celebrates all that God has done for each of us. She has a different take. She sees scarcity and abundance as two sides of the same coin. She wants us to start saying enough. We have enough. We are enough. I’m still deciding how I feel about moving from abundance to enough. I think I’m going to hold onto my visions of God’s abundance while also reminding myself that I have enough.

[Read more…]

Nannie’s Russian Tea

September 23, 2015 by SusannahDB 2 Comments

When I lived in the Raleigh area, one of my favorite treats for myself was a visit to Skin Sense Day Spa. Not only did they provide amazing massages, they also had complimentary tea. A sign in the changing room said the tea had been a family recipe for generations. No matter what time of year I visited, I always enjoyed multiple cups of their delicious tea.

As a gift, my husband gave me their make at home version of the tea. This box gives you enough supplies to make two batches of this delicious tea. I was eager to give it a second try because my first batch didn’t taste exactly like I remember.

I followed the directions and waited while it steeped.

It smelled delicious when it was steeping. However, it did not taste good! It was very bitter. I tried adding some honey to sweeten it up a bit and disguise the bitterness. The honey made it a little better and still not tasty.

Here is my recommendation. If you find yourself in the Raleigh area, treat yourself to a spa appointment at Skin Sense and get a cup of their delicious tea from the original source. And if you have ever successfully made their tea at home, please let me know your secret.

While searching the Skin Sense website today, I was excited to see that they recycle old/used makeup and beauty product containers. For more information about this great program, go here.

Worship Words-Help, Thanks, Wow and Prayer Post-Its!

September 21, 2015 by SusannahDB Leave a Comment

Help, Thanks, Wow and Prayer Post-Its!

Recently, I was asked to provide a worship time for a great group of youth. The following is what we did. This worship worked well with the youth and could also be adapted to use in your home. At home, you can modify the worship piece as needed and hang smaller pieces of paper (if desired) on which you can hang your post-its. Enjoy and let me know how you used these worship words.

Supplies Needed-

3 pieces of posterboard.

In big letters, write Help (on one), Thanks (on one) and Wow (on the last one).

Post-its

Markers

Painters Tape or some other safe way to attach the posterboards to the wall.

Before the worship time begins, hang your posters in three different places around the room. Near each station, provide plenty of post-its and markers and a space to write.

Call to Worship/Opening

From many places, we come together

to learn,

to laugh,

to experience community.

This is a safe space where we can ask questions, share our stories, listen to each other, and grow our faith. A new group is forming this weekend. We have said good-bye to some friends and welcomed new ones. While we will share experiences and grow closer this year, we will always have room for more youth and caring adults to join.

Opening Prayer

As a new year kicks off, we prayerfully ask God’s blessing on our time together this weekend and the year ahead.

God, we know you are already in this space. Open our eyes to see you in each other and in ourselves. We thank you for everyone who is here tonight. Thank you for the gifts they bring and the memories we will create together. We thank you for this safe space to gather and be who you created us to be. Amen.

Introduction-

Tonight we are going to pray together. I’ll explain more about how our prayer time will work in a few minutes. First, I invite us all to listen to these Scriptures that talk about how and when to pray or are prayers themselves. Let us hear God’s word.