Author: SusannahDB

A Good Reminder for Hospice Staff

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While sitting poolside enjoying the shade and summer temperatures, I was observing the kindness of vacationers. People of varying ages were talking kindly with each other. A nice person held a door for a couple using rolling walkers. A man engaged in conversation with a child getting up the courage to jump in the deep end. Smiles were all around.

I called my friend to say that observing these interactions had renewed my faith in humanity. And she said maybe I need to run away to the pool more often as a reminder that not everyone is dying.

It was eye opening to hear my own words come from a dear friend. Each month at our hospice orientation, I encourage new employees to do what brings them joy to fill their spirits because after a hard week at hospice we all need a reminder that not everyone is dying. Sometime I get a little pushback from this statement saying that we are all dying at some point. True! We will all die at some point. For many, I would even say most of us, it probably won’t be soon. I use this statement in orientation as a reminder to look at the life all around us. A reminder to find goodness in others and within ourselves. A reminder to laugh and enjoy this amazing gift of life.

The truth was that I think I needed that reminder more than I realized. So, maybe I need to head to the pool more often to sit in the shade with a good book and enjoy how kind we can be to each other. And if I needed this reminder, I am guessing some of you did too!

Giver of Life and Conquerer of Death! We thank you for today. For an opportunity to see the beauty of creation, we are grateful. Open us up to realize what you are telling us today and may we receive the message you have for us. Send people into our lives to help us when we are in need and don’t even know it. Remind us of the seasons of life and help us to acknowledge your continuing presence with us through the good and hard and everything in between! Amen and Amen!

My view!

Pumpkin Pie Tea

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Recently, a new tea appeared at my door. It was a gift from a dear friend. Yum!

I love pumpkin pie and the flavors of fall. This tea combined both of things into one tasty cup. I enjoyed that the fall flavors were subtle in this tea. It made me want to watch the leaves fall or put on a jacket to protect myself from the cooling temperatures. This tea works in any season to fill you up with the warmth of fall flavors.

Tea from the tea shop in
Fuquay Varina!

A Prayer for Endings

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Last month, I joined my Dad, sister, niece, and nephew at a special worship service. A church my Dad served when I was a child was having their final service. While I hadn’t been back in that space in decades, it felt so familiar as soon as we entered the doors. Across the driveway is the home where we lived where I caught the bus each morning for elementary school, where my sister and I played in the yard making obstacle courses for ourselves, the garage where my Mom held many yard sales, and then we entered the church where my Dad preached for six years. Time seemed to slip away as the surroundings felt so comfortable to me. This is the place where I was loved and taught about God’s love. Many of those who loved me so well are no longer there, and yet we saw some friendly faces who hugged us as if it hadn’t been so long since we last saw each other.

The closing of a church is a hard, sad day. And I think this church did it well. For the first time in my life, I took communion at this church that nurtured me. It seemed fitting that it was the only time I would get to do so within these walls. As the final Amen sounded, I gave thanks for this place and all of God’s children who had ever entered these doors.

God of Beginnings and Endings and All Time in between. The end can be so hard and sad especially when a church is having its final service. Help us to remember all the good that poured out of this place and the people’s lives who were changed by this congregation. For the saints of this place who rest from their labors, we thank you for their faithfulness. For the remaining members who now look for a new church home, we give thanks for their faithfulness to this church and ask you to walk with them for the next part of the journey. For those of us who were touched by this church in some way throughout the years, give us a sense of your peace knowing that although this ending is sad that this is not The End. God, you are still at work through your children in this world. So give us the strength we need for this day and the new challenges that we must face. Keep us faithful to you. And help us to remember the stories we learned when we were young, so that we may share them with those who need a reminder of your goodness. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Giving Thanks for Creation

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As I was sitting out on my deck recently listening to the sounds filling the air, I felt a need to give thanks. Here is the prayer that bubbled up from that time. I hope you might share a prayer with all that shared space with you when you are outside next.

Creator and Creating and Creative God,

For the gifts of this amazing place and planet we call home, we give you thanks.

For the birds that fly through the skies and share their special songs, we give you thanks.

For the waves that lap onto the shores, we give you thanks.

For the voices and laughter of neighbors who also call this area home, we give you thanks.

For the moments of silence when all creation is holding its breath, we give you thanks.

For the clouds drifting across the sky and airplanes flying high overhead, we give you thanks.

For the many reminders that we share our spaces with other beings both great and small, we give you thanks.

Thank you, Wonderful God, for creating us to be in relationship with you, with each other, and with this planet. Help us to nurture all those relationships. Amen.

I love being a hospice chaplain!

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I was asked to write an article for Coastal Hospice’s quarterly newsletter about joy and hope in hospice chaplaincy. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy doing this work!

I am often asked how do you do your job? The assumption behind this question is that the work of a hospice chaplain/spiritual counselor must be so sad. And yes, I have the privilege to be with people for hard conversations and tearful goodbyes. What you might be surprised to know is that just as often I get to share in moments of joy and hope too.

Here are just a few examples. A 90 year old hospice patient pulled up his pant leg to show me his super hero socks and requested the next time I visit that I must wear fun socks too. For my next visit, the nurse and I visited together and everyone smiled as we showed off our fun socks. This has become a regular ritual of everyone showing off their socks at each visit.

Hospice chaplains can do weddings! I gathered with a couple and their families and dogs in a living room and officiated their marriage. They had planned to get married and had never made the time. I was able to fulfill this goal for them in their own home. 

We help celebrate special days. I have enjoyed many pieces of birthday cake with patients and families as we celebrate another year of life. I have eaten at the Chinese buffet with a patient and her hospice team because she loved Chinese food and wanted to enjoy it with the people who helped care for her. 

I have a patient who loves music and laughs each time I sing songs from the 50s and 60s with her. When she is done laughing at my singing, she sings along.

As a chaplain, I am welcomed into someone’s home and invited to be part of their journey. I consider it a privilege to celebrate the important and everyday moments of life along with hospice patients and families.

My Lenten Practice for 2023

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When I started working with hospice in 2015, I received a name badge. Nothing out of the ordinary as it is one way to identify myself as I go into people’s home and facilities. Earlier this year, my original 7 year old name badge broke. Instead of getting a free new name badge, I placed my old name badge into a plastic holder that was too big and wore it. I did this for weeks until one Friday afternoon I looked down and saw this!

My first question was how long had I been walking around wearing this with no name badge. I retraced my steps to see if it had just happened. And found nothing. So, I did what I should have done weeks earlier and got a new one!

And that seemed like the end of the story. Until I was given an envelope a few days later. Inside was a note saying found near such and such address and…

My original name badge was back. Someone found it on the street. This person then took the time to mail it to my work address. They got a stamp, addressed an envelope, and placed it in a mailbox. They could have ignored it. They could have picked it up and planned to return it. No, this anonymous individual went out of their way to do something kind.

This experience has inspired my Lenten Practice for this year. I want to be more aware of opportunities to be kind and more aware of seeing kindness lived out in others. So, I am keeping myself open for opportunities for kindness. I would like to express thanks when kindness is extended to me and offer kindness when the opportunity arises. And this idea all began when someone took the time to notice a name badge on the street.

Originator of Kindness, You created us to be in relationship with each other and with you. This Lenten Season open us to opportunities to receive and share kindness. Ignite our awareness of the people around us and how we may meet a need in their life. Surprise us with the kindness we can live out. With thanksgiving for the many ways you share your kindness in our lives, help us to notice and do and say thank you. Amen.

Harvest Apple Spice by Tea Forte

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My tea shelf is overflowing with so many delicious choices that it was challenging to know what to share with you. Then I sampled this tea and knew this tastiness had to be shared.

When I first smelled Harvest Apple Spice, I felt like it was Fall. It smells like apple cider and made me want to put on a sweater and jump in a pile of leaves. I was hopeful that the taste would be just as good and I was not disappointed.

On their website http://teaforte.com this tea is described as “Flavor: Juicy apple spice, orchestrated with notes of berry richness and a hint of oak. Aroma: Sweet apple cider with mulled-spice fragrance and faint berry undertow”.

If you are missing the season of Fall, try this a sip of Harvest Apple Spice!

2 Years Without My Mom

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Today is a sad day as it has now been two years since my Mom died. As I think about the last two years, sometimes it seems like so long since I last talked to Mom and other times it is like two years flew by. And that is grief.

As I have been thinking of this day, a quote from Frederick Buechner kept returning to my mind.

“When you remember me, it means you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.”

When I think of the marks of my mother that she imprinted on me, the list is long.

She taught me to love music-playing it and hearing it. She said it was important to practice too and she liked practicing as little as I did.

She was always reading multiple books at once. She kept books and her reader in different places so she had something close by to read whenever she had a free moment. She was always happy someone was reading no matter what they were reading! She loved to give book recommendations and loved to give a book to another reader (usually me) as soon as she finished!

My Mom found so much joy in seeing happiness in the people she loved. She loved to hear about my day, my work, and what was going on in my life. She was genuinely happy when her people were happy.

My Mom liked to eat foods that made her happy. No one who met Mom will argue with the fact that Mom was a picky eater! And yet, she was happy to eat her favorite meals and snacks over and over again. Two of the last things Mom ate were a homemade cinnamon roll and a lemon Bundt cake to celebrate my birthday! Potlucks and church suppers were never her favorite because someone might try to sneak some mayonnaise or a scary vegetable into her meal.

I could go on and on sharing ways that my Mom has left her mark on me. In memory of my Mom, could you take a few minutes today to tell someone special in your life that you love them and how they have left their mark on you?

“It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.”
— Frederick Buechner

A Prayer for the Week Between Christmas Day and the New Year

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Whether you are working or taking this week off, it is a unique week as we await the new year. Some people are rushing to complete tasks before 2022 ends. Others are trying to do as little as possible to conserve energy for the new year. Wherever you find yourself in these final days of the year, know you are loved!

God of All Time, We find ourselves nearing the end of the calendar year. The new year is coming soon and yet we must remember the current year has a few more days remaining. Slow us down from rushing to the flip the calendar into a new year. Whether we are working or using up some vacation time, help us to use this time wisely…which doesn’t mean that every minute must be filled. Help us to use this time and all our time wisely by giving thanks to you for the time we have. Seeing each day as a gift is what you ask of us. For the gift of this day, we thank you. For the gift of this year, we thank you. For the gift of our lives, we thank you. Even when life isn’t going according to our plan, we thank you for walking with us and supporting us. So make us aware of your presence this week, we know you are with us and sometime just need a reminder. Thank you for this week before the new year. Amen!

Do the Hard Thing!

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I hope you will join me in this celebration and be reminded/inspired to do the hard thing. I know I will need this reminder again soon.

What is something that is hard for you to do? We all have our own thing that challenges us. Mine is asking for help. I will work and work and work because a task is mine to complete. I could ask for help, and too often, I do not. Join me in this moment of celebration. Recently at work, I asked for help. Even with trying so hard, I could not finish everything that needed to be done. So I did the thing that is so hard for me, I asked for help. And guess what? I was given help!

I wanted to share this because I know each one of us has something that is so hard for us to do. And I don’t know what yours is. I do know the peace I felt when this one time I did that hard thing. So I hope you will try it. Do that one thing that is so hard for you.

And knowing myself, it will probably be awhile before I ask for help I need again. So when that hard thing is too much for you, give yourself grace when you just can’t do it. And then try again.

God! We need some help here. We probably won’t ask for help because that it is too hard to admit we can’t do it all ourselves. Help us to do that one hard thing that is making our lives more challenging. Give us courage to just do it. And then, give us courage to do it again. And for those times we just can’t, grant us grace and peace, we pray. Amen.