Author: SusannahDB

A Prayer for Days When You Have No Words

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While I still have hope in 2021 and the possibilities of this new year, it has been a hard first week. I heard the phrase this is not who I want my country to be, and I think that is a fitting description.

On hard days, it can be a challenge to find words for prayer. You know that prayer does not require words. Some days the words won’t come, and this is a prayer for those days.

God, What can I say today? I have no words. The words will not come. I am numb. I don’t know what to say. And at times, I have too many words and they are spilling out of me not always making sense. Hear my prayer of too many or too few words. Listen to my heart. Hear my thoughts. Inspire me to action when words are not working. Strengthen me to stand, sit, or get out of the way whichever is needed. And when a break is needed, help me to rest in you. Amen.

How Do You Measure This Year?

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Normally on December 31, I look back on the year and remember. My favorite way to do this is through my memory jar. While I don’t want to ignore or forget this year, my memory jar is much emptier than usual due to musicals missed, trips not taken, meals not eaten in restaurants, friends not seen, etc. It was hard for me to write a post-it that said stayed inside today again and get excited about it.

So, I am looking back through pictures and blog posts and Facebook posts that remind me of this year. Amidst the struggle that was this year, I am looking for times I was grateful. I am thankful to have work that is fulfilling and uses my gifts even as I did it in new ways this years. I am thankful for my family and friends who love and support me as they let me support them. And I am looking with hope to 2021 that we will remember the challenges of 2020 and become more compassionate toward ourselves and each other.

God of the Ages, 2020 is on its way out and it will not be forgotten. Our hearts broke this year as we said goodbye to too many people. Our lives changed this year as we covered our faces, stayed home when possible, and learned to distance. We cried and worried and wondered what was the right thing to do. Too many of your children are without work. Too many of your children are sick and lonely. What will happen in 2020? Can we possibly learn from this year? Can you mold us into more compassionate people? Can we remember that we are not isolated beings and instead part of community? Hear our hopes for a better world in 2021. Heal this world and heal us. Amen.

Peaceful Christmas!

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Wherever you find yourself this Christmas, I wish you a very peaceful Christmas.

Whatever emotions you are feeling this season, I hope you find moments of peace this Christmas.

However you are observing this season, I pray you know you are loved this Christmas.

Whether we feel prepared or not, the Christ child is being born anew in this world. “And the weary world rejoices!”

May the hope, peace, joy, and love of Advent be with you as we welcome Christ into our lives again!

Getting Through December

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We are halfway through the month of December. When I was younger, December was a month full of joy, happiness, and expectations. December meant time with relatives, once a year traditions, good food, and so much love. This wasn’t the same for everyone even when they were young. And as I have aged, I have become more aware of the range of emotions that the month of December stirs up for people. For some, December is a month filled with grief and sadness and regret and loneliness. For some, December is a time of not being able to live up to expectations. For some, December doesn’t bring the peace they long to find.

A song that sums up for me the less discussed feelings of this month is Over the Rhine’s “If We Make It Through December”-“If we make it through December
Everything’s gonna be alright I know
It’s the coldest time of winter
And I shiver when I see the falling snow

If we make it through December
Got plans to be in a warmer town come summertime
Maybe even California
If we make it through December we’ll be fine”


I invite you to keep this idea in your mind as you move about the next half of the month. For so many this month won’t look like they have hoped-families may be celebrating via Zoom instead of together, empty seats will remind us of the loved ones who are no longer with us, finances may be tighter than other years, fears of illness may be causing additional stress, and so many other stresses and worries and fears and concerns and possibilities may be keeping people up at night. And if none of this is true for you, it is true for someone you know and love.

So as much as I would love to end with some cheerful words to made everything work out perfectly like the end of a perfectly scripted Hallmark movie (that was not an attack on Hallmark movies which bring much joy to so many), I am going to ask us to do the hard work. I am going to encourage you to sit with the hard feelings and not rush past them. When this month doesn’t meet your expectations, live in that feeling for awhile. When you are missing your loved ones, focus on the memories for a bit and allow yourself to be sad or cry or miss them. When you can’t imagine how things will work out, be angry and live in the heartbreak. And when you are ready, reach out to someone and share how you are feeling, write your feelings down, say out loud that the month of December is hard for you. If none of what you have read mirrors the way you have ever felt in December, I encourage you to be on the look out for those for whom these words ring true. They need you this month.

Hear again the words of the song as our benediction.

“If we make it through December
Everything’s gonna be alright I know
It’s the coldest time of winter
And I shiver when I see the falling snow

If we make it through December
Got plans to be in a warmer town come summertime
Maybe even California
If we make it through December we’ll be fine” Amen!

Giving Thanks

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We can all agree that this Thanksgiving is not like ones we have known in the past. I am not going to tell you how to celebrate this year as you can find many other places and people who have shared information about what are the best choices to make for the holidays.

Instead I want you to be aware of your emotions as you navigate the coming days.

What are you grieving? Write or verbalize those traditions that are not happening for you this year and how you feel about these changes.

Where are you giving thanks? Write or verbalize the people, places, things for which you are giving thanks today.

Where are you finding joy? Write or verbalize the current times you feel joy or memories that bring you joy.

Where are you having moments of peace? Write or verbalize when you feel peace and allow yourself to linger in your feelings of peace.

Let yourself feel the emotions that this reflection brings up. Cry, laugh, scream, smile, and do what you need to do as you live with the emotions that come up this holiday.

Counting Down Sleeps

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I shared a version of this reflection with my coworkers at Coastal Hospice as part of our ongoing weekday inspirational calls. I am thankful for those calls where I can hear the reflections and prayers of my colleagues as well as take the time to reflect and write from my heart.

When I was young, my paternal grandmother was the epitome of a grandmother. She baked my favorite cookies. She read me bedtime stories. She rocked dolls and ate pretend meals cooked up by my sister and me. She took us to church each Sunday. She loved her grandchildren fiercely.

Sadly, I never had the privilege of living close to either set of my grandparents. Instead we would spend about a month each summer with each side of the family. While I didn’t see my grandparents on a daily basis, I was part of their daily lives for a month each summer and then for shorter visits throughout the year.

In order to help her grandchildren prepare for an upcoming event, my grandmother taught us to countdown the sleeps until a big day. Instead of how many days until we visited, we would be asked how many sleeps until a visit?

I have attempted to pass this way of anticipating an upcoming exciting event down to my niece and nephew. I want them to know the same excitement I felt as a child when I was too excited to sleep when waiting for something good to happen.

And recently my heart was warmed and I began to feel that same excitement when my mother said, how many more sleeps? I did the countdown and shared the number.

My mother’s question is a reminder that we are never too old to count down sleeps in anticipation of something which is worth the wait!

You are welcome to borrow our family ritual and start counting down the sleeps. Or create a ritual of your own that helps you feel that sense of excitement as you prepare yourself for someone or something worth the wait!

God, We want things instantly. We are not good at waiting. Slow us down. Remind us that waiting is preparing. In waiting we may learn. Help us to move from our time to your time and trust in your goodness. Give us patience in a world that doesn’t always have time for patience. Slow us down as we begin to count toward those things and people worth the wait. Amen.

Grandma and two of her granddaughters.

Return to What You Love

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Have you had a time in your life when you didn’t want to do something you enjoyed doing? A time when you lacked the energy and ambition to do something which normally feeds your soul? You might have noticed that the hours turned into days and the days turned into weeks. I have been struggling with this lately as I have had no interest in writing. Normally, I enjoy writing reflections on life and faith, prayers and words for worship, and book reviews and then I share those writing with each one of you. We are not here to analyze why I haven’t been writing as that is not the point of this time. Instead I want to reflect on how I started writing again in the hopes that this might inspire you when you are not able to do what you long to do.


1-Give yourself time. (We all need a break now and then even from those things we feel called to do. Give yourself permission to stop for a time. Breathe deeply and be patient with yourself).


2-Reflect on what is blocking your ability to proceed. (When you are ready, take an inventory of your days. How are you spending your time and how would you like to spend your time? When your inspiration returns is there time in your schedule to do what you love? And if your reasons for taking a break from something you love are emotionally or spiritually related, talk with someone you trust who can listen and affirm you).


3-Jump, run, or walk back into that task or activity you love. (After giving yourself time, try to come back. Go as slowly or quickly as is comfortable for you. Try it. If it doesn’t feel right, return to steps one and two until you are ready. And if it fits like your favorite pair of pants, then smile and be glad and keep doing what you love).


As with all things I write, I needed this today. I am hopeful that these words might support you through a tough time and remind you that you are not alone.

Join me in prayer-
Creating God, You created us to be creative beings. Some days it is easy to be our creative selves and some days it is so hard. We delight in knowing you are here with us on the hard days as well as on our easy days. Inspire us to use the gifts you gave us for good especially for the good of others. Remind us to be kind with ourselves and with each person with whom we interact this day. In your holy name we pray. Amen.

Look for Joy!

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Each day, I look for joy. Where is the joy in your day? Even on hard days, sad days, long days, rainy days, there may be joy if you keep your senses open for joy.

Too often, I think we want joy to be big and noteworthy. Waiting for big joy can cause us to overlook the small moments of joy that exist even when things are hard.

This week my Mom asked me to make her favorite Rice Krispy treats. She has been making this recipe since I was a kid. You boil one cup of Karo syrup with one cup of white sugar. When that is boiling, shut off the stove and add in one cup of peanut butter. Stir it up and then add in six cups of Rice Krispies. Dump the whole mixture into a greased 9×13 pan. Enjoy! In the midst of a hard week, we enjoyed a favorite treat.

For me, searching for the joy in each day helps me navigate the hard days. I know there is joy to be found in a laugh, a smile, a moment of calm, a walk around the block. Look for joy as a way to renew your spirit today.

My Mom, my sister, and I finding joy in our day!

Go Outside and Try Again!

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Late in 2019, I was introduced to “1000 Hours Outside“. This is the encouragement to increase the amount of time spent outside to lessen the amount of time spent in front of screens/inside. It was created to encourage taking children outside more and evolved to include adults too. I jumped into this idea with both feet on January 1st. I began to track my time outside. I printed the countdown sheet where I could cross off every hour until I reached my goal of 1000 hours. You will not be shocked to know that I did not make big progress toward my goal in the cold, wet days of January.
And for those of you who love math, 1000 hours averages about 2 hours and 45 minutes a day. This has been a long year, so you may not remember that January 2020 on the Eastern Shore of Maryland was not a month that inspired me to sit outside or hike outside or be outside.

My excitement for this project turned to disappointment and discouragement. And, I quit. I took my countdown worksheet and I crumpled it up because I was so defeated. I recycled it.
That isn’t the end of the story. This idea of getting outside more-of intentially choosing to be outside-stayed with me. As 2020 unfolded in ways none of us dreamed possible, I had more opportunities to be outside. We are now being encouraged to eat outside and be outside more and more.
What could be seen as a massive failure-I have no idea how many hours I spent outside this year because I stopped counting in January-could instead be seen as taking someone else’s idea and making it work for me. Because this idea has stayed with me, I find myself feeling pulled to be outside more to sit and watch the clouds, or walk through my neighborhood or the local park, or even to do yardwork not because I love yard work and instead because I love how good it looks when the work is done.

I hope my failed attempt to keep track of how many hours I spent outside this year inspires you to look at something in your life that could be considered a failure or an unfinished project or something you never started because it would never end and you make it work for you. Do it in your own way. Try it. Let the ideas of others in and use them in ways that work for you.

God of All Creation,
We can be too hard on ourselves for those things we call failures. Help us to reframe our ideas as opportunities. Use our creativity to create new paths instead of obstacles. Push us outside of our comfort zones to places where we might change and grow. When we do go outside, open us to experience the wonder of creation. We give thanks to you, God, for being part of your creation and being your beloved children. Amen.

Sitting outside giving thanks for the beauty.

Psalm 19-Call to Worship

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This call to worship is done responsively with the worship leader beginning and the congregation responding with words from Psalm 19. Selected parts of the Psalm are used and the translation is New Revised Standard Version.

Leader-Look! Listen!

Congregation- The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims his handiwork.

L-Look! Listen!

C- The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the decrees of the Lord are sure, making wise the simple;

L-Look! Listen!

C-The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is clear, enlightening the eyes;

L-Look! Listen!

C- The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever; the ordinances of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.

L-Look! Listen!

C- Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.