Month: March 2019

I Will Remember

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Today is a sad day as I remember that day seven years ago when I said good-bye to my best friend. As I was cleaning last weekend, I found something I had written years ago for her. I don’t remember writing it or even when it was written and yet I feel that it should be shared for any of you missing a loved one today.

When you are living life, you live it. You don’t remember every detail. Things blend together as one days moves on to the next. Only when it is too late do you try to remember everything. What was her favorite color, song, tv show, shampoo, food? When did we take that trip or take that class or play that prank? While I’m grateful for all the time we spent together, I’m sorry, so sorry for all the memories we made that I no longer remember. I know holding onto the memories will not bring you back! I just want to remember, to recall the laughter, heartbreaks, tears, fun, and everything we did together during the 12 years we knew each other. I’m hoping by trying to remember-I will not forget any more of our stories and she will live on not just in my heart but also in my head-even when I’m old!

Two friends at a pub in Scotland in October 2005.

Now that more time has passed I don’t regret not remembering everything that happened. She was the one who remembered the details. Recently someone asked me if I knew someone and I replied, “Oh, Kristi would know. She is the one of us who remembers people and important things.” I know now that even though I don’t remember how many Thursday nights we watched Friends and ate pizza or why we took that road trip through Kentucky where she sang Sweet Child of Mine. What I do know and will never forget is that you always answered the phone when I called, you always stood beside me, and you always were my friend. I am grateful for all the time we spent together.

God, Thank you for the people you put in our lives right when we need them. Thank you for friends who push us to be our best selves. Thank you for laughter and friends to wipe away the tears. Loving God, when the ones we love are no longer here because they are with you, remind us of the good times. Send us your Spirit of Peace for comfort on the hard days. Mend our broken hearts. Amen.

Kristi’s Wedding Day June 2011.
Whenever we’d see this picture of us taken the day before my wedding, we would ask each other who picked out our sunglasses? April 2007.

Forgive Yourself

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Recently, I said something ridiculous. Not ridiculous funny. I mean why in the world did that come out of my mouth?! Sharing the details would not make it any better, so just picture that thing you would never say out loud. I said it. And I felt terrible. I worried. I was mad at myself. I didn’t know how to fix it. After much worry, anger, and frustration, I realized what was missing from all my thoughts. I had not forgiven myself! I was beating myself up over and over and reliving the moments. The only way to move on was to forgive myself. Today, I encourage you to forgive yourself for something you have done or forgotten to do. I encourage you to be kind to yourself as you are being kind to others. Let yourself know that tomorrow you will get another opportunity to be kind, so why not start by being kind to yourself?

Forgiving One, We ask for forgiveness when we harm each other and when we hurt you. Why are we so slow to forgive ourselves? As you forgive us, Merciful God, for the wrongs that we have done to you and to each other, remind us to forgive ourselves. Teach us your way of compassion and kindness to each other and to ourselves. Help us to love ourselves and our neighbors. Remind us that each one of us is created in your image and is beloved. Amen. 

Photo by Felix Koutchinski on Unsplash

Chai Tea Latte Frappe

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Chai Tea Latte Frappe
With black tea, ginger, spices, and honey

This is my first ever Frappe because they always have coffee in them. When I saw this on the menu, I had to try it. No coffee only tea and other goodness. I would describe it as a tea milkshake. It is not something I would want to drink daily. It is a fun treat perfect for those times you find yourself in Aruba on vacation. The spices and tea flavor shined through and the honey sweetened it the perfect amount. A fun drink for the tea lover.

An Ash Wednesday Prayer

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The season of Lent began this week with the observation of Ash Wednesday. I love the practice of having ashes placed on my forehead and consider it a privilege to place ashes on someone else. Seeing so many people with ashes on themselves gives me pause each year.

“What are human beings that you are mindful of them? Mortals that you care for them?” (Psalm 8:4).

So this Ash Wednesday, I am hoping to spend some time in silence giving thanks for a Creator that loves me despite my shortcomings and flaws. My prayer will be that I can be more kind to those I meet remembering that although their flaws are more obvious to me that only means that my flaws are very obvious to them. I am hoping to carry this prayer through the season of Lent.

Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer, Today we wonder along with the psalmist- “what are humans beings that you are mindful of them?” How is it that you keep loving us even when we fail to love ourselves and each other? What is going to change our attitudes towards ourselves and each other? What is going to remind us that we are beautiful in your sight and created in your image? Slow us down today, Loving God, and remind us how big your love is for all that you have created. Open our eyes to see your creation. Open our minds to see the good in the people you place in our lives. Open our hearts to see ourselves as your beloved. God, there is so much brokenness in this world. Help us to be the ones who mend it with your help. Give us courage, hope, and strength for there is much work to do as we embark on our Lenten journey. Amen.

Photo by Ahna Ziegler on Unsplash