God! Why am I awake and the sun has yet to make an appearance? I wish I was sleeping in my bed! Instead I am awake. My mind is whirling with today’s to do list. Outside it is still dark.
Loving God, it feels like we are the only two up in the whole world…except the birds. I can hear them outside. They are awake and awaiting dawn as well. Give me the same conviction as the birds, so I will feel confident that the sun will rise and a new day will dawn. Even if it dawns after I have begun my day.
God of sunrises and sunsets, whenever we are awake, you are awake. Keeping watch. Loving us. And offering us your peace. Let us reach out and accept your loving kindness. Amen.
I will admit it. I am a big fan of Kate Bowler. Her podcast, Everything Happens, keeps my mind occupied while I am at the gym. Her books can be found around my home as I turn to them for laughter and comfort. I love that in her books you see an honest view of God and life that isn’t sugar coated or harsh. It is real.
In this book, Kate Bowler walks us through her illness. This book isn’t easy, and it is beautiful. You will be cheering for her to beat the odds and survive her stage four cancer diagnosis. And maybe, like me, you will be thinking of loved ones who didn’t.
It ends with an appendix titled Cliches We Hear and Truths We Need. And I love every single one of them, so you should read the book just to get to page 201! My absolute favorite is “Everything is possible” which she changes to “Ask instead, what is possible today?” (pg 202).
I wonder what is possible for you today and how you will live into the knowledge that there is no cure for being human and God is with you on this journey!
I was just telling a friend that my to do lists are full and not getting shorter. And that is right, I said to do lists. More than one to do list! I love making lists because writing things down helps me to remember and checking things off is so satisfying!
So when you find your lists full and too much to do, take a moment and pray!
Loving God, I can’t imagine what your to do lists must look like. You have so many things and people occupying your time and energy. And yet, you always have time for me. Help us to remain productive when needed and to not become burdened by our lists of tasks. There will always be more to do. You remind us that rest is essential. So encourage us to honor the Sabbath even if it means we need to write it on our lists to make time for rest and you. Forgive our busyness and our mindset that more to do is better. Send your spirit of peace upon us to remind us which things are more important and which things can wait for another day. Slow us down and reorient our priorities, we pray. Amen!
As I was preparing to preach last week, I was sorting through my stoles to find one to wear on Sunday morning. I took time to look at beautiful stoles made by people I love and places I served. I enjoyed remembering stories behind stoles that were purchased for me to mark special occasions. This beautiful stole caught my attention and held it.
This beautiful stole was made by the saints of St. Giles to remind me of my years with them. As I looked at the carefully created squares, I pictured the children, youth, and families as they were 10 years ago when I was with them. I prayed for them imagining where they might be today. And I gave thanks for my time serving the children and youth and adults of that church hidden in the woods.
Faithful God, For the places we have been and the people we have journeyed with, we give you thanks! Thank you for sweet and hard memories. Thank you for children and youth who have grown now. Thank you for adults who are keeping the faith and thank you for those who are now with you. For the gifts that help us remember, we give you thanks. Bless your saints near and far. Amen.
It has been awhile since I have had the opportunity to write liturgy (the words of worship). It feels good to write again and be back in a church where I will (occasionally) be preaching. This is the time of confession and forgiveness for the week I am preaching on the 10 commandments.
Call to Confession-
No one likes to admit that they have done wrong. One of the most beautiful parts of worship is that each week we come together and acknowledge our mistakes. As we confess, we seek to be forgiven by God, by each other, and by ourselves. And so in honesty and humility, we pray together.
Holy One, you instructed us in how to live and we have chosen our own paths. Direct us back to your way. Forgive us, we pray. And help us to forgive each other as we seek to live as those who are created in your image. Amen.
Assurance of Pardon-
Friends in Christ, there is no better news that this. God has heard us. God has forgiven us. God loves us. May our thoughts and actions reflect that forgiveness and love.
I’m going back to youth ministry and back to school.
I am so excited to share that I am now the Director of Youth Ministry at Buckingham Presbyterian Church in Berlin, Maryland. I am enjoying getting to know the youth and their families and the whole congregation. It feels good to be back in church ministry again and to be spending my time with the younger ones in the congregation.
And starting next week, I will begin studying counseling at UMES. I am working toward a master’s degree specializing in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.
So, I am doing something very new and different and something very familiar that feels like going home.
Thankful for new opportunities and thankful for each one of you and the support you have given me!
A look back at when I was DCE coordinating the Christmas Eve service!
Well, this day has finally arrived. Today is my last day at Coastal Hospice. After 8 years of visiting people in their homes to support them at the end of life, this is the end of my time doing this work. As for what comes next, stay tuned for more updates on that. Today is a day to celebrate and give thanks for my time at hospice.
I have loved meeting people and hearing their stories. My heart has ached when I entered the same home again for another family member nearing death, and yet that was also the beauty of doing this work for so long. If a second family member needed our services, families knew they would get the support they needed for this hard time.
So many people think hospice is all tears and sadness. I worked hard to help people understand that we are here to help with meaning making, to celebrate the joys-I cannot even add up how many birthdays I helped celebrate, and to make this part of the journey a little easier. I baptized someone in a swimming pool. I officiated a wedding in a living room. I served communion and brought ashes to homes for Ash Wednesday. I sang Christmas carols in July. I watched birds eating from feeders and sat outside sweating with people who loved the outdoors.
I love hospice because we treat the patient as a whole person recognizing they have physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. We work together as a team to meet those needs and to equip and support the familieswho are dealing with changing roles and often anticipatory grief.
A picture of me on my first day!
It has been a joy to do this work. I have laughed and cried and offered hugs and prayed and learned so many fun facts and met so many interesting people. Saying goodbye is so hard. I have had the privilege of working along side so many amazing and dedicated people who feel called to this work. Together we have done it well. I will miss you and this good, hard work!
The Holiday Season is hard. We are faced with so many expectations of what we should do. Pressure comes from all directions about how to have the perfect celebration. Add in grief and things get so much more challenging.
Sadly, this is my third Christmas without my Mom. I am writing this curled up under a blanket made of her shirts, drinking a cup of hot chocolate, and eating a peanut butter blossom cookie.
Our memories of loved ones come back to us in so many ways this time of year. I remember a loved one when I add an ornament to the tree that used to hang on their tree. I keep my grandparents’ Christmas tree that sheds more needles than a real tree because my grandfather’s handwriting is there telling me how to assemble it. And I think of my Mom when I bake peanut blossom cookies.
You see this is my Mom’s recipe. It is called Peanut Blossom Cookies. And it comes with the side note that the peanut butter is optional because Mom hates peanut butter cookies. This is such a perfect memory of my Mom. She was a picky eater. She would change recipes by leaving out what she didn’t like. For example, her version of apple salad or only turkey breast at Thanksgiving are famous and true stories in our family. And I would happily leave out the peanut butter to share a cookie with her. Since I cannot, I will stay under this blanket a little longer and give thanks for my Mom and all my loved ones who I miss especially this time of year.
Loving and Faithful God, At this beautiful and holy time of year, we are filled with a range of emotions. We joyfully prepare to welcome baby Jesus and our hearts ache as we miss people we love. We remember how it has been on Christmases past and know that we cannot recreate those memories. Send the Prince of Peace among us to provide the peace we need today. Send the Holy Spirit to be our comforter and companion. And bless all of us who are missing someone special this Christmas. Amen.
Just what you need another reminder to slow down in the busy, busy, busy month of December. I hope you can see this prayer not as a reminder and instead an invitation. An opportunity to pause and breathe. Time to be aware of what is around you. A moment to just be in this time that has become so focused on doing.
Let’s begin by finding a comfortable spot near the Christmas tree. I recommend a blanket and a cup of tea to complete the scene.
And now take a few minutes to soak in the beauty of the Christmas tree. Notice the lights that brighten up the space and the tree. What ornament catches your attention? Focus on that ornament and the memories attached to it. And when you are ready, join me in prayer.
God of All Creation, For the beauty of this season, we thank you. When the grass is brown and the leaves litter the ground, you invite us to bring a symbol of life and light into our homes as a reminder that new life is coming. May the light shining from our Christmas trees inspire us this season to be lights for others and to slow down and pay attention to each other. Slow us down, Holy One, in this time of hurrying so that we may notice you and notice each other. Breathe into us the breath of new life reminding us why we celebrate each December. By the light of this tree, we pause and give thanks. Amen.
Have you ever attended a silent retreat? I would highly recommend it, and I also think that they might not be a fit for everyone.
A dear friend invited me to join a silent retreat she was leading at her church. It was held on a Saturday from 10am to 4pm. And I loved it.
We gathered together to talk about the plan for the retreat. She gave us time to center ourselves and then one last chance to speak…and then the quiet began.
I had packed a bag with letter writing supplies, a spiritual book, a journal, and coloring book/colored pencils. My goal was not to feel like I had a to do list which is so hard for me because I love a good list.
I started reading some of my favorite Scripture verses Lamentations 3:21-26. I read these verses slowly and from different translations. Then I wrote them down noticing the words that were similar and different. I was wondering how long it had been since I read the book of Lamentations, so I read it too!
I went for a walk outside slowing my pace and noticing the sounds and sights around me. All of the sudden I thought of how my sister and I used to walk on parking lot lines and painted curbs like they were balance beams. And so, I did this. I giggled out loud (whoops, sorry silent retreat). I slowly walked all around the church property feeling young. And then the bells started playing hymns. They were announcing it was noon and time for lunch. I sang along in my head to words inscribed on my heart from my childhood.
Lunch felt awkward. To sit around tables with people and not talk was hard. Do I make eye contact? Do I look away? What should I do? Maybe read the ingredient list on my food to pass the time.
After lunch, time for coloring and prayer and writing letters and reading and sitting and walking. The time passed so much more quickly than I imagined. It felt like a gift to spend this much time in silence with God.
I encourage you to try something new to you to stretch your spiritual muscles.
Renewing God, we pray that you renew us as we try something new. Give us courage and patience as we stretch our spiritual muscles. Remind us that you will be with us as we embark on things previously undone. In silence and peace, we come before you. Amen.
